5SOS Imagines

Luke - You Break Up

Author: Rhine

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Maybe it's for the best that we just... end things.

You remembered when he said the best thing that ever happened to his life was having you.

We can't keep on doing this – I can't keep on –

Loving you?

Hurting you.

If this wasn't hurting you, then what was?

We just can't... can't fix –

But he was doing all the breaking.

I'm sorry.

He didn't have to be, he didn't have to apologize, not if he just –

Goodbye.

He pretends not to hear when you beg him to stay.

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He chose his broken heart over the one you gave him.

He chose pain and loneliness and solitude over you.

He'd rather have nothing, scattering away all the memories of you and him as he walked away – he'd rather have chips and bruises on his heart from loving you than your touch that could heal it.

He's rather be broken then to be whole with you.

And he was the one person who saw you, saw all of you – promised to love all of you for as long as he could, promised forever and everything – he was the one person that you gave everything to, and he –

He didn't want it. He didn't want you, not anymore.

You bared your heart and your soul and he made you believe that his words of I love you were true enough to last a lifetime, he let you think that forever was a guarantee and you erased the word goodbye from your dictionary.

And now when he uses the word, you don't know what it means.

You don't know what it means for you, the foolish girl who thought this boy's words were true, the heartbroken girl who surrendered to beautiful blue eyes and such charming smiles.

You don't know what it means for you – a heart torn in two, broken promises on your finger, chapped lips of things you should've said – what will become of you when you've given so much to someone who's willing to throw it all away?

There's nothing left of you, nothing in him left for you.

He's letting go and you're desperately holding onto frigid air.

He's gone and you're still searching for something's that long dead.

But you said –

Goodbye.

You cry out your I love you to the silent air and that's the very reason why he's left; you love him you love him but he can't take it anymore, he can't give it back to you anymore.

I love you.

And your love was once the reason he came back to you at the end of every long night.

I love you.

Now it's the very words that make him walk away.

I love you.

You sob the words to him and he sees something in the past.

He almost wishes he could feel the same for you too.

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He didn't realize it at first.

And the absence of love crept up on him as unexpectedly as the presence of it.

He starts to see it, when he looks at you and no longer sees the lover in your smile and taste it in your lips – he only sees a girl, a pretty girl that wrapped her arms around him and curled up by his side every night, but there's nothing there – just a body, just a girl.

And your love is there but his isn't and he can't seem to find it anymore; he can't find the love that made the girl in front of him something more, something he would give forever, someone he wanted.

He lost it, and you lost him.

He tried, he really did – Luke tried to love you, but his heart didn't feel what it used to and he couldn't force beautiful thoughts of you without them sounding mechanic – it could only last for so long until his rotational I love you and routine kisses would be jammed from his stony heart, it was only a matter of time until you saw there was nothing left in his eyes, empty air in his touch, just an echo of what was in his lips.

If he didn't let go of you, then you'd just keep on loving a shell of someone that used to be just as vibrant.

He couldn't do that to you, not when he saw all the love you gave him – no, he couldn't even reciprocate a fraction back, and it wasn't fair to have you like this – to be the recipient of love but to greedily take until there was nothing left.

He couldn't drain you of what you so willingly gave him, he couldn't bear to see you just as empty as him when you realized there was nothing left in yourself to give to him.

And it's because Luke thinks breaking you is better than hollowing you out, it's because Luke thinks hurting you with a crash is better than dragging out the pain – that's why he leaves.

He's broken his heart only to find there's nothing there, but when he breaks yours, he sees gushing red of all the love you held for him.

He's all dried out, but you're drowning in the overflow.

Please, I love –

You might've erased the word goodbye from your dictionary and you don't know what he means when he says it to you – but he's erased the word love and it's a foreign term he doesn't understand no matter how many times you say it to him.

You hold on to it like a lifeline but it only spirals on for so long and he's already let go.

And the words change into something that both of you can understand.

I have you suddenly becomes I miss you.

Only you is now another you.

I promise into I wish.

And you still whisper the words to yourself – the words that he no longer understands, the words that you long to hear, the words he'll never understand from you, the words you'll never get from him.

I love you.

But now, with his absence he rewrites the very meaning of the words.

I lost you.

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