The Hearts We Hide

03

Miraya

Summer went too quickly for the first time. There were beach trips, camping nights, spa days, weekend getaways, going away parties (not just mine), wallowing in self pity, movie marathons, small shopping trips, quietly turning twenty one and finally, moving.

Mum flew with me, helped me move into the flat I was going to share with two other girls, and talked about how both her babies were so far now while I set up my room.

It was nothing great. A small bed in a corner, a desk, closet and a window that let in plenty of sunlight. I had already planned all the plants I was going to acquire.

I got there a day early to call dibs on the best room. Mum left pretty quickly and I was in a new state, in a new bed almost asleep when there was a weird sound. And again.

Uh oh.

Was I getting robbed for the first time? But I didn't have anything valuable except for an abysmal amount of clothes. I didn't find anything I could use as a weapon near me.

Do I call my dad?

That'll go great. He'll bring me straight back home.

Maybe a high heel?

Yes. Heels are sharp. Heels are good.

I grabbed one from my shoe rack and with my cellphone in the other hand, silently opened the door. Immediately, the lights in the hall turned on.

Before I could register much, like reflex, the heel clutched in my hand was hitting her face. Too late, I realised the obvious.

"What the fvck are you playing at, you psycho!"

Her voice was a screech and there was a strong accent.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, I thought you were a thief!"

"Fvck off, you're one of those? I'm Latina so you just assume I'm a thief? You—-"

"No, no, no please, I'm half Indian. I really didn't see you before I hit. And I was asleep so my mind wasn't fully awake yet and I couldn't remember that my flatmates haven't moved in yet . . ."

We were both breathing hard, staring at each other. She was tall, I noticed now. Extremely tall and leggy. She had dark hair to her waist, her face was a little intimidating or maybe that was just because I was on the receiving end of a perfect death glare.

"Estelle," she let go of the trunk in her right hand and held it out for me to shake.

"Miraya,"

"Other one isn't here yet?"

"No, just me. Do you need help bringing in your things?"

"No, I got it," she still looked mad. "Go back to sleep. It's late,"

"Yeah, almost 1 a.m. Was your flight late?"

"Two hour delay."

She went to the door and brought in more bags. She hadn't even taken off her coat.

"Do you want some tea? Or something to eat?"

"Go to sleep."

*

I woke up before six the next morning and because it was a new start, I obviously needed to get my entire life together in one day. I had some cookies, a twenty minute pilates session and a hot shower before I walked to the convenience store nearby to get some basic things I needed.

When Estelle woke up, I had already made us both breakfast. I felt extremely guilty about the night before, especially after noticing how the area just above her eyebrow was a little swollen.

"Good morning! I made breakfast. I hope you like french toast. There's tea too,"

She was silent as she made her plate and poured her tea, which she stared at quizzically.

"My mother is Indian. She taught me how to make it. You should try, it's pretty great."

She wasn't chatty. I wasn't either, but at least I was trying. Perhaps she was still upset?"

"Does your head hurt?"

"It's fine,"

"I can get you painkillers?"

"It doesn't hurt."

Okay.

We ate in silence and it was killing me that I was going to be stuck with a roommate who didn't like me and might never forgive me. I was new to being actually disliked. I kept trying to catch her eye but whenever she looked up from her plate I'd look away.

It came as a relief when around noon, a third presence shattered the ice.

My second roommate, was Emi. She was barely five feet and had the personality of a Disney animal.

She talked continually as she brought her bags inside and took them to her room. Somehow, when she came out after freshening up she was still talking. Estelle caught my eye and almost smiled.

Within thirty minutes, we knew everything about Emi from her siblings to her undergrad course to her plans for the next two years.

She was a little much, but at least I won't be entirely friendless. She was so bright and radiant, she looked harmless and trustworthy. More important, she didn't have trouble carrying and initiating conversations.

Orientation classes started the next day, so we didn't have much to do. I thought Emi would be busy setting up her room but she seemed to believe in leaving everything in her bags and never unpacking. She suggested we go to to a cafe that was pretty close to the building and not very enthusiastic, Estelle agreed.

I was in baby blue joggers and a white tee, standing in line before the counter with Emi who was an endless bundle of energy and Estelle who was mostly done with life.

"—-can't wait for classes."

The words came from my left and without meaning to, I was looking.

A table for four was occupied by three boys. I couldn't tell who had spoken, but something about them tugged at me. They looked so happy, so close.

One of them was clearly at least part asian. Japanese, maybe. He was leaning back with a smile, watching his friends argue. I couldn't see one of them. Just the back of his black hair. The last boy was blonde. Messy hair falling on to wireframe glasses the way they describe in love poems. He was wearing a navy shirt and that is all I saw, before Estelle nudged me because it was our turn.

When I looked away I thought I felt his eyes on me but I was too afraid to check.

I thought about them before falling asleep. Would I ever deserve the kind of friendship they visibly had? Would I ever have people who considered me an extension of their lives and didn't have to think twice before coming over to meet me?

When I rolled over and sleep caught up to me, my last thought was of that blonde boy. I wondered what colour his eyes were under those glasses and all that hair. 

A/N: This is a very rough draft. Not proofread, not edited. So don't judge too harshly, please. I'll edit the chapters once the story is complete.