Tutoring Hearts

Chapter 23

Upon arriving at Wendy's house, they swiftly handed over the food. Medyo kinabahan pa nga si Jaren dahil first time niyang makita ang isa pang tiya ni Ansel. Of course he wanted to make a good impression. But as Wendy was also occupied with her own tasks, she couldn't have a conversation with them.

Afterwards, they decided to hangout by the lake. Alas singko rin kasi sila natapos at hindi na masyadong mainit dahil palubog na ang araw, kaya naisipan nilang doon tumambay at kainin ang mga pastry na binigay ng tita ni Ansel.

"So, how's things with your mom?" Naunang magsalita si Ansel pagkatapos nilang i-set up ang kumot na nakuha nila sa bahay. Sinet-up nila ito na parang picnic. They sat there in silence for a second. Pinagmasdan niya si Jaren na inaayos ang mga pagkain at hinintay sumagot.

"Hmm, okay naman. Bumabawi siya. She takes them to the mall on the weekends when she's free," he picked up the berry smoothie and sipped a little. "Minsan kapag wala ka, she tries to help teach them."

"That's great. How about you?"

"...Uhm... We talked and stuff. She said she was sorry. I told her it's nothing to worry about. Kasi wala naman siyang kasalanan. I get that it was her way to cope. I was also just doing what I have to do—ang maging kuya sa mga kapatid ko."

Tumango naman si Ansel.

Jaren paused for a moment. He's lost in thought as he reflected on his recent conversations with his mom. He appreciated her efforts to make up for lost time. He knew she was trying, and he wanted to believe that things would get better, but the scars of their past still lingers.

Maybe they were right about the delayed grief.

Sometimes, he wonders if things will ever go back to how they were. But it immediately crosses his mind that it will never be the same again, principally because his family is not complete anymore.

Jaren took another sip of his berry smoothie, feeling the cool liquid calm his nerves.

Pinagmasdan niya ang sinag ng araw mula sa mga puno, na tila nagsasayaw ang mga anino sa lupa. Ang katahimikan ng sandaling iyon ay kabaligtaran sa kaguluhan sa kanyang puso.

With a soft sigh, he glanced at Ansel, who seemed lost in thought, his brow slightly furrowed. Not long after he was admiring Ansel, it struck him how they were still so casual, so natural, despite his confession. He couldn't help but wonder. Is Ansel just playing along with me, or is he really this comfortable with the idea? Was Ansel simply trying to spare his feelings, or did he genuinely not mind Jaren's feelings for him?

Jaren's thoughts swirled, and he knew he needed to address the uncertainty gnawing at him. So Jaren decided to break the silence as felt the need to voice the question that had been weighing on his mind.

"Wait. How are you so comfortable with me though? Akala ko kasi, pagkatapos kong umamin sa ‘yo, lalayo ka sa akin. Pero nanood ka naman ng match namin. You even let me tag along here with you."

"What?"

Ansel couldn't get what Jaren was trying to say.

"You don't hate me?"

"Bakit naman kita kamumuhian?"

"Kasi gusto kita."

Ansel looked at Jaren, a little surprised but calm. "And? Ano naman ngayon?"

"Kasi... parehas tayong lalaki."

"Well I know for a fact that same-gender attraction is a thing. I'm not homophobic, Atreus. My tita literally dates a woman."

Marahang napapikit ng mata si Jaren. Oh how could he forget that? Matagal na niyang kausap ang tita Dianne ni Ansel. She asks him for updates about Ansel which he willingly gives. One time they were randomly texting—about him and Ansel—she suddenly opened up about her being a lesbian.