any references to real medications that would actually be used have been replaced with the names of other medications for the safety of readers.
you hear a doorbell ring. it's a postman. he gives you a box and asks you to sign your name. you do. inside the box are two substances.
20 g of sodium erythorbate and 15 mg of promethazine.
these two substances are often used for completely separate purposes. sodium erythorbate is used in meat curing, and promethazine is used to prevent vomiting. tonight, however, they will be used for a very different purpose: hypoxia. you thank the postman as he leaves, and you prepare for your last night. you've gone through the standard preparations. all of your belongings and money have been given to loved ones and friends, except for your phone and a few articles of clothing. it's a chilly night, but a cozy one. it's been snowing for a while, but it's not that deep. the christmas atmosphere fills the air; it was only a few days away after all. the brisk air was comforting as it reminded you of better times when all that you had to worry about was the game you were going to play on the playground and how excited you were to meet back up with friends you didn't see all winter break.you re-think everything you're about to do for a moment. is this really worth it? should i really go through with this? after all, it's not a reversible process by any means. you decide to stop worrying about it. after all, you won't be able to worry about it soon. you mix the two substances into a drink and swallow it. it's very salty and bitter. you take a few sips of hot chocolate, the same kind you used to drink on nights like this. it's way sweeter than the foul concoction you just ingested. that's better. you're finally ready to take the last walk of your life. you put on your cutest winter outfit and step outside. it feels nice, just as you'd hoped. a wave of nostalgia rushes over you, and you start tearing up. naturally, you wipe away those tears and start walking. you know the area well. after all, you've lived there for years. tonight is a good night to see the christmas tree. they just lit it up after all. as you head there, a friend spots you. "hey, what's up? what are you doing out so late?" she asks. you can't tell her what's about to happen; she'll call an ambulance. "oh, i'm just taking a stroll. i wanted to see the christmas tree in person," you say while hesitating. you two talk for a while before she leaves. you're back to being alone. you continue towards the tree. the light it's emitting is rather beautiful, and it's visible from where you're standing. unfortunately, you do begin to feel a slight bit light-headed. it's not that far, only two more blocks. one block passes. your heart starts to beat faster, you start to feel warmer. one last block. it passes. you feel an overwhelming wave of euphoria pass over you. you've reached the finish line on your walk, your journey, and your life. it's pretty late, you're drowsy, and there's a convenient park bench right in front of the tree. you brush the snow off of it and lay down. "this tree is really pretty, i should've came here more often." you're tired and your eyes begin to shut. as the drink's effects take over, you wish for something better. your eyes close and everything fades to black.

YOU ARE READING
a winter night, the end of a life
Short Storyso i wrote this because i was feeling suicidal, this is (as of the time of writing) how i'd probably want to go out but by no means does this mean i condone suicide. all real drug references have been replaced for the safety of some readers. if you...