A God Amongst Wolves

23

Word Count: 2718

~Alvera

In my dream, I'm engulfed in a fiery inferno.

I'm stuck standing in one spot, watching the flames crawl toward me, reaching out to lick at my skin. All I can do is stare at the vivid shades of orange and red, waiting to swallow me whole.

I wake with a start, gasping for air.

My entire body is burning hot and wet with sweat. My pyjamas are plastered against my skin, entirely soaked through.

Wincing, I peel the fabric off me and wipe the hair stuck to my forehead off me. Picking my way from bed, I pull a face at the wet stop shaped like a body on my sheets before I pull back the curtain, expecting to see the sun peeking over the treeline.

Instead, the stars glitter high above and there's no sign of morning.

Tapping my phone screen, it illuminates the room, revealing that it's only 2am.

God, why am I so hot?

Heat pulses against my skin, coming deep from within. It's relentless and unforgiving, and worst of all, it's painful.

Unlatching the window, I hang my head out into the cool night air. Vacantly I can feel that the breeze is a brittle temperature, but it does little to alleviate the burning sensation over my skin.

I need help, I need...

Venn.

The moment he comes to mind, my legs give out from under me. I crumple onto the floor, weakened by the thought of him.

In conjunction with the burning sensation is one of need, desire. I washes over me scorching wave, the focal point being right between my legs.

Realisation coasts over me as I lean back into the wall, letting out a pained groan.

"Shit...shit not right now."

The monthly occurrence where I'm overcome with an intense need for Venn has come. There is no denying this is what's happening, although admittedly, it's far more painful than I thought it would be. The heat is inescapable.

"God - Moon Goddess. Whatever is out there, you have to be fucking with me," I grit out, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

The urge to dip my hands between my legs to seek relief is palpable, although I know it won't do anything. I feel as though I've been built up to orgasm yet I can't tip over the edge into blissful relief.

Instead I'm sitting here stupidly, yearning for a man I cannot have.

Rushing to the bathroom, I turn on the tap and splash cold water onto my face. It's laced with magic from the river, and yet does not to alleviate the heat.

I look into the mirror, water dripping from my face. My pupils have expanded to almost as big as my irises, and the dark stains under my eyes suggest what little sleep I had was worth nothing.

"Come on Alvera. Why aren't you angry?" I hiss, digging my fingernails into my palm.

Venn told me it would be easy to redirect this feeling into anger if I'm not attracted to him. Yet, I stand here with nothing but need for him pulsing through my veins, and not a hint of anger to be found.

I'm attracted to him, and I hate that. I have been since I first saw him.

For what feels like an hour, but perhaps is only a couple minutes, I pace back and forth, willing the feeling to go away. However, even as I try to banish Venn from my mind, the heat and the desire remains just as potent.

I can't this anymore.

All rational thought has abandoned my mind as I venture into the hallway, passing many room and doors on my way to Venn's quarters.

Seeing him when I'm in this state isn't ideal, but I can't take another second like this.

Once I reach his door, I bang on it loudly enough to rouse anyone in the area. I can hear his footsteps as he eases out of bed, and a moment later, he opens the door.

"Al-"

I press into his room, unable to catch a deep enough breath.

"I'm sorry to wake you but I don't know what else to do or where else to go," I rush to say. "I realise now that I'm...now that I'm in this room with you that this is a monumental mistake."

His scent has overcome me, his room laden with it. The sight of his bed, his rumpled sheets and then...him.

He wears only a loose pair of pants for sleeping, the waistband hanging low on his hips. My mouth dries as my gaze travels up his legs, his hips, up his tattooed, beautifully muscled abdomen, past his neck and hardened jaw to his mouth, where it rests. It takes a great deal of effort for me to meet his eyes, which are stormy and grey and tumultuous.

He's so beautiful my admiration of him briefly cracks through the desire. However, like a wound healing, the crack closes and the need is back, but more forceful this time.

He steps in my path before I can rush out. "Are you okay?"

"That thing you were talking about. It's happening," I admit, taking a healthy step back, aware that I'm only advancing on his bed in doing so.

He lets out a breath. "Yeah. I know."

I realise in this moment that Venn is clearly suffering too. His forehead and chest is damp with sweat, although not nearly as much as me. His eyes are dark and he's looking at me like he wants to eat me alive. Even his muscle are tense, like he's physically holding himself back.

"How are you feeling?" He asks softly.

"Not good. Please put a shirt on," I beg pitifully. If I look for too long at his bare abdomen I'm going to lose my mind.

"Of course." He stalks to his dresser, hunting in a drawer for a shirt that he hurriedly slips on. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"Honestly? I'm seconds away from begging you to rip my clothes off. I'm burning up, I can't get a deep enough breath and my heart is racing."

I would be embarrassed were it any other situation.

Venn looks away, grimacing. "Let me run you a bath."

He steps into his ensuite, his words taking a moment to sink into my ruined brain. The moment the water starts gushing into the tub, I rush over.

"Woah...no, that's a bad idea," I insist. "I...I don't know what I'll do if I'm naked-"

"You can wear your clothes," he assures me, his gaze dipping down my body. "You need a cold bath to ease some of the heat before it becomes unbearable."

I nod. "Okay. That sounds good."

The heat is already unbearable, so I would hate to know how much worse it can get. At least I can stand next to Venn and still stop myself from begging for him. At least he is holding himself together.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this." He rubs the back of his neck. "Once you're in water we will worry about channelling the anger."

"I don't think that's going to work," I mutter, pulling my pyjama set top off my skin again.

"It has to. For your sake, for mine and for Eldon's."

Eldon's name rocks some sense back into me. Despite not knowing whether he's ever going to come back to me, I know I have to respect him by keeping my hands off Venn.

"Are you feeling it too?" I glance at him, biting down on my lower lip.

He only stares down at the water as it fills the tub. "Don't worry about me."

"Tell me. Are you?"

"Yes, I'm feeling it." He turns his body toward me, heat emanating off him. "The urge to throw you onto my bed and fuck you until this feeling passes is beyond anything I've felt before."

I place my hands over my ears. "Oh god don't say that."

My body reacts to every word he says to me, but those ones more than anything. If he keeps speaking to me like that, he's going to chip away at my resolve.

"Sorry," he says as I tentatively pull my hands away. "I'm managing fine. Step into the bath. The water is cold."

He holds his hand out to aid me, but I shake my head.

"No touching. Bad idea."

He tucks his hand quickly behind his back, nodding. "Right. Good point."

I step into the bath, the water bitterly cold. I sink down until I'm emersed up to my shoulders, letting out a shaky breath. The cold eases the edge of the heat, although it does little to reach into the intrinsic need for Venn that won't seem to leave.

"Will I feel better if I touch myself?" I ask him, looking straight ahead. I hear him crouch down beside me.

"Not by much."

"But if you got me off..." I break off.

"It would help. Not as much as, well...I better not say." I glance over to see him wince. I know exactly what he means.

If he properly took me to bed, if we had sex, the feeling would be remedied right away. It could all end, and yet we both know neither of us can make that leap.

Ruining my relationship, altering everything in my life isn't worth the reprieve, even if I feel desperate for it now.

"Yes, choose your words carefully," I murmur.

"I think we should try channel anger. Bring some thoughts into your mind that inspire the feeling?"

I wince. "I'm just thinking about us having angry sex."

"Think of Eldon," he brings up tightly, as if saying his name causes him a great harm.

"Okay, that helps," I admit softly. "Guilt might be the best emotion to get to."

"Don't lean into that. It's harder to overcome when the time is up," Venn states. "You can be released from your anger very quickly and very abruptly."

I curl my fingers into a fist beneath the water, nodding. I seem to be feeling the anger in conjunction with the desire, which is only making me feel much worse.

"Eldon and I are on a break," I blurt out suddenly.

Venn flinches. "What?"

"I'm not sure if he's ever going to come back, and I don't blame him," I say, my breath tight from the cold water pressing around me.

He sighs through his nose, looking like he wants to touch me to comfort me, but thinks better about it. "I'm sure he will. He probably just needs time."

If Eldon can't even tell me he loves me, then I doubt he'll want to fight for what he probably thinks is already lost.

"Okay. That's just making me sad not angry."

"Either think of something else that makes you angry or allow me to bring you some relief now that I know you're not with Eldon right now."

I pin him with a look, only to see him smirking at me.

"Absolutely not. I doubt either of us would be able to stop once we start, and...you're joking. Okay, not funny."

I splash some water on him as he laughs. He's obvious trying to keep the mood light, but I can't concentrate on jokes when his humour only makes me want him more.

"We'll keep our hands to ourselves, don't worry."

"Of course I am." I straighten. "I still love Eldon. Even if I'm convinced he's probably going straight to his exes like he did I'm the beginning of our relationship."

Venn surveys the side of my face. "Harness that feeling. That anger."

I grit my teeth together, thinking back to the horrid feeling of jealousy that plagued me. He was my boss, and I hated when he gave attention to others so flippantly. I hated when I caught him hooking up with women he'd been with before, even after he claimed we weren't really in a relationship with.

And even when we were...I hate that I was stupid enough to forgive him, that I gave into the crippling feeling of loneliness that plagued me when I first moved.

"It took me so much to forgive him. Why did I forgive him?" I question into the air.

Venn winces. "Maybe lean into something else."

I huff. He's right, I could go on an endless spiral about this, and I don't want to ruin my perception of Eldon when I'm in such a fragile state.

"Why is Belle so difficult? I know what I did was wrong, but I was just a kid really...." I say, more to myself than him. Our interaction has been on my mind since it happened.

Venn edges closer. "What did you do?"

"I stood over my father while he was dying. It took me over a minute to call for help," I say numbly. The words seem to fall from mouth before I can hold them back.

He pauses. "Oh..."

"He was terribly abusive. The fact that I had energy to lift the phone to call for help was a miracle considering how malnourished I was," I explain to him, feeling the heat drifting over my skin die off a bit. "That's the kind of father he was."

Rage and pity war in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Alvera."

"It's fine." I wave my hand dismissively. "I wasn't trying to be cruel, I was just imagining a world without him. One of freedom, where I could get Belle and I help without risking us getting hurt. I came to my senses eventually but it was too late."

When I told the Belle something had overcome me and time seemed to slip away, she didn't believe me. I don't blame her, because no part of me is regretful for what I did.

"I doubt a minute would have changed anything."

"Probably not, but I fessed up to Belle immediately and she's never forgiven me," I tell him. "It's like she pretends our father wasn't a monster. Or maybe she's forgotten..."

"Give her time, then talk it through. No telling, just patience."

I lean back, feeling my muscles start to relax. "I'll try."

"How do you feel?" Venn looks like he wants to touch me, but he's smartly keeping his hands to himself. I think if I felt his skin touch mine, I wouldn't be able to resist any longer.

"I still feel like I need you," I deadpan, moving my hand through the water that is starting to warm.

He sighs, clearly feeling the same way. "It will take some time to develop the resilience."

"This means I'm attracted to you, right? I can't seem to fight away the desire."

"Try not to read into it. This pull between us is perfectly natural, but we are more than capable of resisting it."

He offers a tight smile, but the truth is right in front of us. But just because we are attracted to each other doesn't mean we need to act on anything. He needs to concentrate on being an Alpha, and I need to concentrate on Eldon.

I sink deeper into the water until it reaches my chin. "It's exhausting, and it hurts."

"I wish I could say it gets better, but you'll just have to tough it out."

"I'm starting to feel tired," I admit softly.

My lids feel heavy, the pain forcing all the energy from my body. Despite my skin still burning, my blood still racing around my body, I feel ready to fall asleep.

"Good. You can sleep off the worse affects until morning," he murmurs.

"Like...I feel really tired."

"Your body is forcing rest. This is a good thing. It's part of the process," Venn assures me, leaning closer. I can trust that if I fall asleep right now, he'll keep me safe.

"I can't...keep my...eyes open." They flutter closed, my limbs weighted down by fatigue.

"I'm here, I'll take care of you," he assures me softly, brushing his fingers through my hair. "Get some sleep."

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If you want to read ahead at any point, you can read this story 15 chapters ahead on INKITT and 10 chapters ahead on RADISH.

Inkitt:

Radish:

~Midika 💜🐼