MirrorGaze

1

Grasping my hands around the heavy velvet curtains and with the heartiest shove I could muster, I threw my arms open wide. I took a moment to run my fingers down the fabric as the sunlight hit my face, turning my field of vision into a sea of auric hues. A nice day outside, I was sure. Even through the window, the sunlight bathed my skin in warmth, and I put my hands on my hips. I took a deep breath. This was it. The big day was coming.

As I turned away from the window, the wiggling of light faded from my eyes. My mind felt like a basket of hornets that had just been shaken. Violently. Thoughts rushed through it like rapids down a waterfall. I found myself wandering back to the edge of the bed, stopping, forgetting what I was doing, and then remembering again. With a resolute huff, I stopped myself mid-pace and gripped the bedframe. The smooth, polished canarywood glided under my fingertips.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. I just had to keep telling myself that it was going to be a great week.

When my brain finally remembered the thing that I had set out to do was get dressed, I had just begun to turn when someone knocked. My otsis, most likely. "Heme?" I called through the door.

"Shisatsi, it's Holchi. I've come by with your breakfast," Holchi said through the door, her voice muffled by the wood.

"Oh, great! Feel free to come on in. I'm decent."

I found my way to my vanity where I sat on the soft, cushioned chair placed before it. The door opened with a weighty creak, the wood giving away its age. Holchi entered with her tray, the silver rattling as she set it down on the edge of the bed.

"It's a beautiful day outside," she prattled, her wizened voice filled with dips and drops, like a canyon.

"I thought so! The sun came through the window very brightly today." I reached for my hairbrush on my vanity and ran it through my hair as she organized my things on my bed.

"I brought these..." Holchi wobbled her way to me, her footsteps only a little uneasy on the floor, and set something down at the corner of my vanity. The strong scent of vanilla, chocolate, and rose hit my nose. When I reached forward, my fingertips met the soft petals of a flower. Orchids. "Cosme thought you might like them."

My mouth scrunched to the side of my face, and I was sure Holchi saw. Cosme wasn't normally one for gifts. "That old fool is trying to bribe me, isn't he? He knows these are my favorite."

"I wouldn't say that, Shisatsi Ayun. I think he just didn't want you to feel left out as the festival approaches."

"Breakfast smells delicious."

"I brought you some stuffed corn cakes with cheese and eggs, hot pepper lapi for dipping, and fruit. Kes made sure to put extra peppers in yours because you complained last time."

"Look, if I'm eating and it doesn't immediately make me sweat it isn't hot enough," I laughed. "I'm surprised he even had time to cook me anything with the party in a few days."

"He's working hard, certainly, but we never would forget you, dear."

"That's good," I muttered under my breath. "At least you don't ignore me."

"What was that? Sorry, love, my ears aren't as good as they used to be."

"Would you mind getting me some clothes for today while I eat?"

"Going somewhere, are we?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," I lied under my breath. "Not after Cosme nearly made my brain bleed with his last lecture.

Holchi moved behind me, blocking some of the light from the window, toward my wardrobe. "Don't be too hard on him. He cares for you very deeply."

"I understand that, but no. I just want to look extra nice as I stand in front of the windows like a ghost to scare the diplomats coming into port."

"Everyone has been murmuring about the sacred jewels of Marisoria, they're all dying to get a peek at you and your sister."

I shrugged, tapping my fingers on my vanity absentmindedly, then shifted my attention to my long, thick hair. My fingers desperately tore through it and then began to braid. "Not like Nayeli is going to let me outside to see anyone, anyway. They'll just have to wait until the party."

"That they will. Here." Holchi stopped in front of me for only a moment. "I've gotten you your clothes, as well as your belt and cloak. Your sandals are by the door."

"Thank you, Holchi."

"Are you all right to manage by yourself?"

"Definitely. I'm sure you have a million other things to do."

"Only what they'll let an old lady do, these days. Make sure you call for me if you need anything."

"Of course."

And with that, she left, closing the door entirely behind her. I let out my breath and stood. I felt bad lying to her. She had always been there for me, had been nothing but nice... I just couldn't risk her telling Cosme what I had planned.

When I stepped to the bed, my fingertips touched the edge of the tray of food, cold and crisp. I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the tray, the intricate shapes of entwined vines and snakes along the edge. After moving my clothes out of the way, I dunked my stuffed cake into the hot sauce and relished the sensation as the area around my eyes began to sweat. Kes certainly hadn't held back. After I ate the whole thing, I guzzled the water from a cup Holchi had brought me. I even had the audacity to dip the fruit in the hot sauce as well. I wouldn't dare waste a good thing. Finished, I returned the tray and empty dishes to the stand by the door.

I dressed hastily, fumbling with my clothes and dropping my belt because my hands shook. Why was I so nervous? Not like this was something I hadn't done before. Perhaps the sting of getting caught the last time was still fresh. The more I thought on it, the more I suspected it was actually the nerves from the upcoming party: the Lilu Uyutcho E.

So many people would soon flood the halls of my home, the prison that had built itself up around me. The entire meeting hall would be abuzz with new voices and new people that I had never seen or met, and I would finally have a chance to at least pretend—if only for a little while—that everything was normal. I would get to try new foods and sweets from across the globe, touch textiles from places I had never been, and smell perfumes from flowers I had never dreamed of. Finally experience the things my father always told me about.

My sister would be getting her chance to hopefully find someone from a country to ally with, to marry. The opportunity for our tiny little kingdom of Marisoria was huge. So paramount that words could not properly describe the impact her marriage would have. Marisoria hadn't been the same since my parents had left, and for once, we had a chance to return it to its former glory. If the right suitor presented themself, of course. Nayeli wasn't going to marry just anyone.

Me, on the other hand... I'd be free to talk to anyone I wanted. Do anything I wanted. My fingers trembled as I struggled to put my earrings in, the soft feathers dangling from them tickling my cheek. Whoever I met at the Lilu Uyutcho E could potentially change my life, grant me a freedom I had only ever dreamed of. The first person I met (hopefully someone nice and kind and strong and wonderful) was going to be my ticket out of Marisoria, hopefully forever.

No one was going to stopme. I didn't care how upset Cosme would get with me. It didn't matter. I wasn'tgoing to live inside forever. They couldn't make me.