Chapter 17 | Colder Than My Heart

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
- Robert Frost

Listen to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol for this chapter.

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I guess the cold, chilling air creeping through the crevice around my window, temporarily freezing me, is enough to announce the start of winter. Frost flowers appear in vectors in a thin layer, blossoming around the entire glass surface. When I look through the window, swirls of white mist appear where I exhale. Snow dusts the pavement outside, covering everything in a crisp white shade. The clouds are a striking pale grey, beginning to hurt my eyes.

I shut the curtains and breathe out.

The tepid water in the shower warms my skin, and I run my fingers over the rough spot on my collarbone, before drying myself with a milky white towel. I clench my teeth as the cold air meets my skin, pulling on my clothes as fast as possible. Opening my cupboard drawer, I begin looking for something that's remotely suitable for winter. Eventually, I settle with a black parka jacket over my red hoodie, and black jeans which don't look too shabby.

Seeing that I still have some time to spare, I peek through the curtains one last time, and watch as the bits of snow fall like tiny fairies from the sky. After slipping on my plain old converse, I run downstairs ready to ask my mother for a cup of hot chocolate to warm up my insides. It's a miracle I haven't injured myself on this very staircase yet, taking into account the number of times I rush through it.

I smile when I see that my mother has already prepared a cup of hot cocoa for me, and I sit opposite her, slurping my scalding hot drink unattractively.

"How're you doing, honey?" my mother asks, stirring her coffee, the strong aroma pervading the house. I blow air into my cup, then take another sip, pulling the sleeves of my hoodie higher. I realize that she doesn't know exactly what happened at that party, she just think I ran away because I was uncomfortable about something. That's a good thing, what really happened is not a piece of information that would be vital for her to know.

"Great, mom," I answer, staring into oblivion.

"Winter's finally arrived hasn't it?" she says, her features conjuring up into a smile, "Your favorite."

I nod, confirming her statement. Outside, the white sky boasts an absence of birds. Just as I finish off the last bit of my cocoa, Mia's honking bursts the bubble of silence. I let out a soft chuckle, grabbing my bag and uttering a quick goodbye to my mother. She pulls me into a hug and lets me go, the warmth from her arms appearing and disappearing in an instant.

I walk through the thin layer of snow, flipping the hood from my hoodie over my head as the snow drops tickle my skin. Even the red material my hoodie's made from can't hide the small smile I have stuck on my face.

Snow, like rain, brings back the good memories. The ones I want to remember. The ones that bring a smile to my face and add warmth to my soul.

I get into Mia's car, watching as the windscreen wipers swipe from left to right. I've always hated the way the windscreen wipers don't stretch to the far corners of the window, always forming a semi-circle.

"It's colder than my heart outside," Mia says, sniffling while bringing a tissue to her light red nose.

"Mia," I say, "If it was that cold we'd all freeze to death."

She rolls her eyes and tucks her tissue away, "That was so funny, I forgot to laugh."

I let out a soft chuckle before glancing outside as the car gets into motion. The trees are dusted with a soft white, like icing sugar covering chocolate cake. Winter is just too beautiful for words.

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