8: As Crazy As The Joker

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I started stuffing the duffel bag with wads of cash, I heard a growl and ran over to check up on Rajan. He had ripped out a man’s throat, I saw his phone a foot away from his hand, everyone was too scared to scream, shaking in their places. 
“..And let this be a lesson for all of you.” I warned to all of them, then walked back to the vault. I finished stuffing the bag and stuffed my clothing with wads of cash, I wanted as much as possible. I brought over a plastic bag filled with cash and put it around Rajan’s neck.
“Let’s go, Raj.” I shot the bank teller who helped me in the head, feeling victorious.
A month after the whole bank robbery, I sat in my newly bought home. It was in the outskirts of Gotham, and I had nice possessions in it. I allowed the basement to be Rajan’s habitat, it was also a place for plants, with as many windows as I could put without people noticing my pet. Rajan liked it, and knew when to hide. 
I heard a knock at my door and got up, opening it. I was thrown onto the ground by a black mass, I gasped in shock.
Batman’s face was in front of mine, and from what I could see, he was angry. I frowned, then laughed a little.
“You look constipated.”
“Who is Caerulea?! Are you her? You’re the only one with blue hair in Gotham!” he shouted in my face, my eyes were wide.
“Why would I be Caerulea?! I just got away from Gotham’s most craziest madman and you expect me to go out there and join that line of business?!” he stared into my eyes, then got off of me, grabbing my arm.
Commissioner Gordon walked into the room, glaring at me. He pulled me and turned my head to the side, my hair hid the goofy smirk on my face.
I made sure Caerula looked different from me. I had blue swirl tattoos around my neck when I was Caerulea, it was a mix of paint with the film they used to stick on fake tattoos, so it wouldn’t mess up while I was out on the job. From what they could see, my neck didn’t look like it was touched at all. 
He checked my arm, I had robbed a jewelery shop the night before and someone had stabbed me in the arm. What they didn’t know is I was expecting police to check my body for the same injuries that Caerulea had, so I had thin packets of fake blood in my shirt for the robbery. I always did when on a mission, because not only did they expect me to have the injury, they’d expect Caerulea to be too exhausted and in pain to go on. Misleading and brilliant, I know.
There wasn’t even a scratch on my body, he sighed in defeat and let me go.
“Now would you mind telling me what the hell this is all about?” I shouted, playing stupid. They believed it.
“We’ve been looking for the new criminal, Caerulea. I think you should dye your hair, so no one suspects it to be you. You look an awful lot like her.” Gordon sighed, I put on a scared face.
“Uhm, I’m afraid to go out in public now, could you buy me some hair dye?”
Gordon and Batman exchanged looks. I imagined how awkward Batman would feel walking in with a batsuit on and standing in line at the grocery store, I stopped myself from giggling. 
“Alright, fine. What color?” Gordon growled, this was too good.
“Black and brown.” I grinned, wondering how the hell I’d be able to refrain from dying my hair. I gasped and then smiled, eyes bright. “Nevermind, could you get me a wig instead? I’m not into the whole hair dying thing, I don’t want to kill my hair.”
“Your hair is naturally blue?” Batman questioned in his husky voice, I sighed.
“It is.” this was too perfect. They couldn’t possibly be able to find out who I really was. I had them eating out of the palm of my hand.
“Fine!” Gordon groaned, I grinned.
“Thanks!” I sang. “Now if you will excuse me, I have to hit the hay.”
“One last question.”
“Where’d you get the money to buy this house?”
I blinked. “My grandma died, left me in her will.” I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Gordon frowned, then nodded. “Well okay, well, we want you in tomorrow for questioning.”
“I’m not going until you give me the wig.” I raised an eyebrow.
“...Fine, then in two days. Goodnight!” he walked out, Batman followed. I locked all the doors and windows in the house, then went to my room. I burst into laughter and fell onto the bed, grinning.
I imagined how Gordon would look buying a wig. He’d seem like a tranny, unless he got his wife to buy it. I found that very unlikely though, I giggled myself to sleep.
I really was as crazy as The Joker.

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