6: The Heartess Man Who Wears a Smile

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He stared at me with an intense look, eyes curiously searching mine, mouth pursed into a thin line. He looked so much older with his makeup on, I felt inferior to him. He treated me like it, and I felt like it.
“Why?” he questioned in that odd voice of his, I paused for a moment, then continued to pack.
“Because I was just a pawn in your escape plan.”
He sat down on the bed, watching me. His eyes flickered with amusement, and it irritated me.
“How so?”
I stopped to glare at him. 
“You knew there was something I could do to help you escape because I was the smartest person you could get to, and you could easily reach me. Yeahhh. Whether it was you using me as a diversion, I was just a pawn. You got me to like you so it could work out, you’re never that sweet to anyone otherwise, you would have murdered me if I didn’t show potential. You are a sociopath, therefore you cannot love, therefore I am just a mere toy in your little games.” I spoke, everything made so much sense, and I had a bunch of things to back up my explanation.
“My dear, I am not a man with a plan-“
“Cut out the shenanigans. You treated me like you treat all your other henchmen, you just know that if you hit me, I’m out.” I spoke. “Not cool, you’re a meanie and I want out of your little game!”
“Then leave, if you don’t trust me.” he said it so casually, his shoulders drooping like always, he watched me with a crazed intensity. “You don’t understand in me. Just like the people I tried to impress, back when I was just Jack Napier. I learned that if they don’t like what I got, then they can just go die. So go die, if you don’t believe in me.”
My eyes were wide.
“Don’t you care for me?”
He looked away.
“My dear, of course I care for you. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I do very much care. I shouldn’t, since I am the Joker, and in my line of business, I uh, can’t give a damn. But oh well, if we’re over then we’re over. Do you expect me to go weeping in some Haagen Dazs while watching sappy movies? I’m not that type of person, sorry, I uh, uh, don’t-“ he popped the t, “plan on changing. I’ll always be the man with a smile.”
“But without a heart.” I picked up my bags, and with that, I was out the door.
I looked around, and for once, I was nervous. I was scared. I wasn’t seriously scared, but I knew I should have been, so it’s what I felt. 
I hadn’t been in the outside world in years, I had no warning of being flung back into it.
I was all alone.
My family didn’t care for me because I was different, they didn’t understand me.
Those schmucks.
The lack of medication was making me more and more sane each day they were out of my system, soon the hyper would mellow out smoothly, but I would never gain the ability to feel certain emotions I couldn’t feel in the Asylum. I was becoming normal, and I didn’t know how to start out normal.
I took a shaky breath. I had no money, I had no people skills. I had nothing but Rajan and the little things I packed. My sister kept my clothes in her house, probably dumped them. My apartment was probably occupied by another family. All I had in my suitcase was my Caerulea outfit, books on Philosophy and such, a journal, a pen, a blue knife, and my makeup bag.
I walked down the street slowly, I looked back to see no one was watching me go. No one cared.
I hugged Rajan close to me and kept walking, thinking about the man who saved me from everything, he didn’t agree with or deny my accusations, so I didn’t truly know what he felt, but I knew he was easy to come to decisions.
“Hey baby, wanna come over here? I got a big surprise for you.” one of the hobos winked, I slipped out my knife and held it to him, eyes threatening, crazed.
“I’m not having a very good day, savvy? So shoo fly, don’t bother me!” I walked away, leaving the man confused at my words.
I really was perfect for Jack, we were both misunderstood.
I kept walking, I collapsed in front of a big building. I lazily looked at it, then looked to the ground, sighing.
A build man with very nice brown hair approached me, I recognized him as Bruce Wayne. 
“Aren’t you the missing Asylum girl?”
Way to point it out.
Instead of running away or treating me like a dog, he smiled. I was quite surprised.
“Are you okay? Didn’t the Joker hurt you?”
I hesitated.
“He broke me out and then abandoned me on the streets. I don’t know his whereabouts or plans....”
“No no, I’m not gonna start those kinds of questions, don’t worry.” he was too sweet.
I shrugged, looking down. “He didn’t hurt me.”
Not physically, at least, but I’d always have the scar on my heart.

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