Chapter 34: Talking

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Can we just take a moment and appreciate (and drool over) how model like Zayn looks?

He could eat my glutton free, blue berry muffins any day.

(Idek what a glutton free muffin is or if there is such a thing, but he could still eat it.)

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Madison sits in front of me with a mug of tea in her hands. She avoids eye contact and stays silent. We decided it'd be a good time to talk, that's all. She obviously has things on her mind and I want to try and help as much as I can.

I made her some tea while she took some time to calm down. I have never made anyone tea before so she better feel pretty damn special. The odd thing about it, though, is that I actually liked doing it for her. I liked the feeling I got when I made the tea and knew it'd help soothe her. I liked knowing I would be part of the reason she isn't crying anymore.

"Toots."

"I know," she states, realizing just how long she is taking. "I just, I don't want you to think I'm-" her voice fades out.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't want you to think I'm stupid for feeling the way I do," she mumbles and I sigh. I am the stupid one for even calling her stupid.

"Madison, I'm sorry. I was just angry and I wasn't thinking. You're not stupid and you're also right, I don't understand. But that's why I'm here, listening."

"Okay," she nods and finally looks at me. "You're right too, I haven't really been eating and I, um, did make myself through up, a lot."

"Why'd you do it?" I ask, wondering what horrible thing on earth made her do it.

"Well I was eating, kind of a lot. It was that day you dropped me off and told me how smothering I am." when. the words leave her mouth I regret what I said immediately. "So, I was already having a bad day. Then I remembered the first time I met you and you snapped, asking me how much I eat."

So that horrible thing on earth is me. Great.

"Madison, I'm so sorry. You were never fat, like ever. I only said it cause I was annoyed, it wasn't really anything personal." I assures her.

"It's fine Zayn," she dismisses my apology. "Anyways, that just made me feel worse and I began thinking. I ended up in the bathroom throwing up. I swore to myself that I would never do it again, that I wouldn't let what someone said affect me."

"Then what happened?" I question.

"Well, everything seemed to come down on me. School, my internship, drama with Reid and you. It just really stressed me out and I was overwhelmed. So I didn't eat, and the empty feeling from being hungry was, addicting? I don't know how to describe it, but being hungry made me not feel so over loaded. I kind of just stopped eating. And when I have to eat, I'll go to the bathroom and throw it up."

"Do you realize how bad that is for you? You'll have to stop," I tell her.

"Easier said than done, Zayn," the groans.

"This has some serious side effects, Toots. Maybe you should go see a doctor," I suggest.

"No way," she shakes her head. "No way in hell! Zayn, I could handle this myself. I'm not about to go to some doctor to have them think I'm crazy!"

"You won't be able to do this on your own!" I try to convince her to see someone. I don't want to see her hurt.

"I'm fine Zayn," she sternly says. "I don't need anyone's help. I don't even really need to stop. I mean I feel okay."

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