Fit For Love

What was i THINKING?

Chapter 5

My world turned upside down for a millisecond.
This is why he looked younger.
Because he was infact a young boy.
He was 18.
I expressed my shock towards him and asked him about his studies and school.
He told me that he wanted to pursue some course in nutrition and wanted to do this as a full time thing.
He had left school and was pursuing his last year privately.
My test got over and he wanted to check my pulse which was displaying wrong on the treadmill so he grabbed my wrist and tried to check it manually but then we tried again on the treadmill and it gave the accurate result.

"He is 18!!!!!!!!!!" I sent voicenotes to my bestfriend after returning from gym
She was trying to calm me down telling me that it wasnt a big deal and that he wasnt "a minor."

It was a big deal to me.
I was about to be 22 in a few weeks and he had just turned 18 a few months ago.
I know this because i stalked him on instagram and he posted a video reel of his recent life moments that included a clip of him cutting his cake. So my detective skills told me that he had his 18th birthday very recently

I was freaking out for nothing.
What was i thinking?
Its not like i actually had a chance with him if he was my age.
The only reason i think i was getting upset was that maybe i was thinking he is too young to even be my friend.
Maybe he would go away for college after school.
Whereas, i, on the other hand had just completed college.
The age gap was just freaking me out because in my delusional world where i imagined him and i together, we just wouldn't work out for some reason.
I was really upset for a few days after that day because of this very thing.
He was so younger than me and here i was imagining being with him and i felt uncomfortable thinking that.

A few days passed.
I would go to the gym.
I would see him.
He started shaking hands with me and my friend and passing a fade "hello" smile to me like he would do to everyone else.
I started getting pissed off because i always wanted him to come talk to me like friends but he never did.
"Why would he?" Said my bestfriend over texts discussing him.
"Its not like you guys are friends"
"Ugh. I just want to talk to him"

A few days later. I gathered the courage to follow him while me and my bestfriend were again discussing him like we always did.
It was an impulsive decision and i hit the follow button.
The clock started ticking.
He didnt follow me back.
"Maybe he isnt using his phone right now." Said my bestfriend.

"Maybe hes busy"
"Maybe he hasnt seen it"

But it was embarrasing for me because hours passed by and he didnt follow me back.

But it even got more ugly when i saw that he did click on my story to see it but still hasnt followed me back.

Thats when i got super sad.
So he did see my profile.
He just didnt care to follow me back.
Why would he do that?
This question was even more irritating because he was following my gym friend.
So he knows him too
He knows me too
But he is following him and not me?
How is that fair?
Did he not recognize me?
Is he thinking that im trying to be clingy?
Why the hell would he follow my gym friend but not me? When both him and i see kaairav at the gym.
Why would kaairav willingly choose to follow him but not me?
My whole day was ruined.
I did not have the courage to go to the gym the next day

I do not exactly remember whether or not i went to the gym the next day.

After a few days, i decided to finally talk to him. Not just asking for help in an exercise or some professional talk.
An actual real talk.
I made a plan.
I decided that i would ask him about his mental health.