Deadpool x reader

The city theif

you stole some money off of the doctors so you paid for a room, you got comfy in the bed until the phone rang, you got up and reluctantly answered it, a mysterious voice was heard on the other line. "We've been waiting for you, (name)"

"Must've been one helluva wait" You reply as you scavange the mini fridge, you hear a light chuckle on the other end of the line. "You could say that, my name is agent Matthews, I belong to an organisation where we train people like you with special abilities to become theifs and or assassins, we were told by an anonymous source about your escape and we'd like you to join this organisation known as armée furtif" Agent Matthews explains. "Hmm, sounds legit, but how do I know you're not gonna pop me one as soon as I enter the place?" you ask as you find a beer bottle and take a chug from it. "You don't, you'll just have to take my word for it (name)" He replies calmly. "Hmm, alright, but if I see anything I don't like, I'm shoving a machete up your ass, stab the first organ it hits and drag it straight back out your anus" you state happily. "Charming. I'll send you the location of the place on the laptop that should be on the desk in your motel room, when you get there, just mention your name" He says before hanging up. "You got it boss" you say under your breathe before putting the phone down and checking the laptop.

~~~time skip to the building~~~

You arrive straight at the entrance of the building, it looked pretty fancy, yet it was in a discreet location, you entered and a guard stopped you. "Where do you think you're going?!" He asks, you give him a smirk and punch his face before running towards the elevator, another guard tries to catch you but you easily dodge his attempt "Ooh, so close!" you say as you continue to bolt for the elevator, one more guard tries to taser you but you flip backwards and kick the taser out of his hand before getting back on your feet and finally running into the elevator, going up to the 4th floor. You walk into Agent Matthews office with a smile, he turns to you and sighs. "What on earth are you playing at? I told you to just let them know who you are, it was really unnecessary to run away from them like that!" you sit on his desk and shrug. "Where's the fun in that? just thought I'd make things interesting" you state before all three guards burst into the office, Agent Matthews runs up to them and stops them. "It's alright men, this is miss (name), she means no harm" The guards look at you, dumbfounded. "That's (name)!? are you kiddin'!?" you wave at them and shake the first guard's hand. "Pleased to meet'cha!" The guards continue to look confused before apologising to Agent Matthews and leaving. "Alright miss (name) let me show you where you will be training"

5 years of training later...

"For the last time (name), no" Agent Matthews states as you beg to finally go on a 'job'. "C'mon Dave! don't ya think I'm ready!?" you say as you steal his cup of coffee. "That's agent Matthews to you! and yes, of course you're ready, but the boss says you have at least one more month of training to go! now give me my coffee back" you take a mouthful of coffee before placing it back in his hands. "I can't wait a month! c'mon! pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeee!!!!" you pout with your hands clasped together. Agent Matthews sighs. "Alright, I'll ask the boss" you squeal with joy and give him a huge hug. "Thanks Dave!" you say before running off to get your outfit on. He looks at you run and says to himself. "It's agent Matthews..."

~~~time skip~~~

You come back into the room in your outfit, which is an all black spandex bodysuit with a black hood and a black gas mask. "Did ya ask!?" you ask excitedly. "Yes, he believes that you're actually ready, sit down and I'll fill you in on the job" you squeal happily "YUS!" you shout before listening to agent Matthews. He brings down a map and sets it on the table. "Your client wants you to go to this small jewellery shop" He says before marking it on the map. "You need to steal a very valuable emerald necklace, attracting little attention as possible" He then rolls up the map and hands it to you. "You up for it?" He asks as you take the map. "Uhh duh! of course I am!" You state before going out to do your job.

~~~time skip~~~

You have located the jewellery shop, you sneak up to the roof and found a window that was a little bit opened, you slowly open it further and sneak inside, the moon and shadows silhouetting your movements nicely. You softly swing down next to a plant, hiding behind a glass case, you spot two security cameras, you use your telekinesis to break the cameras before running up to the emerald necklace, you look at the glass case it's in before take out a laser pen and cut the glass with the laser before gently taking the circular shape of glass you cut and slowly taking the necklace, you then replace it with a worthless replica before lasering the glass back on, you place the emerald necklace in your pouch before sneaking out the the building.

~~~time skip~~~

You walk up to your client's house and knock on the door, you hear the door immediately unlock and creak open. "Did you get it?" They whisper. "No, I completely forgot about the one thing I had to do, yes I got it! you got the money?" you say before taking out the necklace and dangling it. "Shhh, keep your voice down, here's the money" They say before handing you a bag, you look in the bag and almost faint "$3,099!?" you try to shout quietly. "Shhh! yes, now give me the necklace!" They say impatiently. You hand them the necklace before having the door slammed in your face. "Rude" you say before walking off to the armée furtif building.

2 years of jobs later...

For 2 years you have been successfully stealing from museums, jewellery shops, banks, factories and houses for your clients, but business has been kind of slow these past few weeks. So you were recommended another job until business picked up again, which job was that? a mercenary, your boss told you to go to a place called the Hellhouse where you'd be guaranteed some mercenary work.

A.N. Ok, so I know this chapter still doesn't have Deadpool, but as you can tell from the ending, the next chapter is definitely going to have him! so keep reading and thanks so much for waiting!