Get Me High

GMH 42

"San, I never stopped. I just...hid it well. When we started dating that's when it stopped. Momentarily. Because I forgot for a second what it was like to watch what I eat. To control my weight. Because I was happy and you made me feel comfortable with how I looked."Wooyoung told him.

"So what changed?"San asked softly, hand rubbing up and down his back.

"When I'm home or away from you. Those voices would come back again."

"What voices?"

"The kids from middle school. My dad's voice. The teachers. "You're fat", "are you going to be both ugly and burdensome?", "at your age and you look like that?", "your mom did herself a favor dying", "no wonder your dad hates you", "a human pig ". It's just never-ending."

San tensed beneath him."Does Ms Nam know about this?"

He shook his head."Not yet."

"Are you planning on telling her?"

"Yeah. I want to get better. I'm just tired of everything San-ah. Why can't I catch a break? Do I really not deserve that much happiness?"

"Hey. Sssh. It's okay. I know you're tired baby but you'll be fine. You of all people deserve the world so don't say that."San peppered his face with small kisses.

"They why doesn't it end? Everytime I try to become happy something goes wrong. "

"Life is just unfair like that Young-ah but don't ever  think you deserve all these bad things that keep happening. We can get through this. We always do."San caressed his cheek with his thumb.

"We?"

"Of course we. You're my boyfriend. Why would I let you handle everything by yourself?"

"No it's just....Aren't you exhausted? I keep burdening you with...."

"Wooyoung."

"...."

"What did I tell you to always remember everytime you start overthinking like that?"

"You stayed for three years and you'll stay for more till I say otherwise."Wooyoung muttered.

"Exactly. Do you want me out of your life?"

"Of course not!"

"Then overthinking like that is?"San trailed off on purpose.

"Pointless."Wooyoung finished.

"Why?"

"Because you love me."

"Try again."

Wooyoung felt the butterflies start to swarm again in his stomach. He shyly looked at San in the eyes."Because you love me."

San smiled."Goodboy."

Wooyoung was sure he was as red as a tomato by now.

"In my eyes, you're perfect but I know you won't believe that because you have to know it yourself. When you're ready tell Ms Nam I'll go with you to your session. I don't know anything and I want to learn how this works so I can help you overcome it. For now, i just have my simple traditional method."

Wooyoung couldn't help the little laugh that escaped his lips."And what's that method?"

San kissed his cheek, gently maneuvered him out of his lap and onto the chair then got up to get the food from the microwave."Feeding you anytime you're with me."

"What are you feeding me?"

"Omelette and chicken breast from this morning. Seonghwa made it and I know you like his cooking so I kept some for you in the fridge."San came back with the bowl and a fork.