Someone's Little Sister - ON HOLD

2

I woke up as the plane touched down in Antwerp, Belgium and took in my surroundings. Harry was beside me still and he folded up the blanket I slept with. "We have to get to the hotel soon," Harry said, unbuckling his seatbelt as soon as the pilot came on the loudspeaker. "We have a bunch of stuff going on tomorrow."

I followed him to the front of the plane and we made our way nearly all the way down the tunnel before I stopped in my tracks. I could already hear people chattering in the airport. "I don't want to deal with this," I said under my breath, rolling my eyes. I felt Louis rest his hands on my shoulders.

"It'll be ok," he said from behind me. "I'm behind you, Harry is in front, and we'll go through really quick." I nodded and held the back of Harry's shirt. We got to the end of the tunnel but I couldn't see over Harry's head. "Close your eye's love," Louis said, "it's going to be fine."

I did as he asked and gripped Harry, resting my head on his back. I felt the same pressure as before, but this time, it didn't go away. I tried to take deep breaths but I was squished between Harry and Louis.

I opened my eyes and made eye contact with a girl who was beside me. Her hands were grabbing at me and forced my eyes closed again. I began to feel light headed and my grip on Harry loosened.

I felt myself fall, but Louis held me up, carrying me. I couldn't move, but I could hear Louis and Harry calling me. I wanted to tell them I was ok, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I could tell Louis was rushing to get to the car to the hotel.

Once again, the noise ceased and I managed to take a few deep breaths before opening my eyes. Everything was blurry and dark. "Thank goodness," I heard Harry whisper as he pulled me closer to him. I smiled at him weakly as my vision cleared. "I'm so sorry-"

"Stop," I said, interrupting him. "I'm ok and it's not your fault. I just panicked." I could tell he was biting the inside of his cheeks and I looked at him reassuringly. "Who's staying with who?" I asked, trying to get them to stop worrying about me.

"The three of us are together and Liam and Niall are together too," Louis said. "There weren't enough rooms." I nodded and looked out the window. It was dark and presumably late at night. The car turned towards a huge hotel and Harry squeezed my arm.

"I'm going to write a little before bed," I said, getting my own suitcase out of the trunk of the car. Harry nodded, grabbing his bag and leading me towards the lobby. Paul handed him a set of keys and we squeezed into the elevator with the other boys.

"Breakfast in room 601 at 7," Liam said, getting off first when the doors opened. "We're in room 608 and I think you guys are next to us in 606." Harry confirmed and opened the door to our room. Two big beds took up most of the room but there was also a desk, a couch and a TV on the wall.

"I can take the couch," I offered, moving the cushions around before Louis and Harry could argue. I stole the blanket from Harry's bed and a pillow from Louis'. I changed into sweatpants and a tee shirt in the bathroom while the boys changed and got in bed.

I pulled out my journal

We just arrived and I'm tired. I fainted getting off the plane and I'm worried. Day 1 and it already happened. I don't want my panics to come back, but what if I can't avoid them? There's no way I can tell Harry. He'll freak out and get overprotective and I can't deal with that this whole trip. I should go to sleep soon too. Harry pretty much knows if I write a lot, something is wrong. I'm glad we're staying with Louis though. At least he knows about my panics from before. I don't think I'll say anything yet at least. It only happened once. I'm ok.

I closed my journal and curled up on the most uncomfortable couch I've ever been on. I waited for Louis and Harry to drift off before getting on the empty side of Harry's bed. He turned around in his sleep but I didn't think he noticed me. I turned to face him and watched him sleep until I dozed off myself.

I woke up to Louis jumping on top of me, screaming as loud as he could. I tried to bury myself deeper in the covers, but Louis and Harry tore them off of the bed. "Fine!" I screamed when they threatened to pile on top of me again.

"Get dressed and meet us in 601," Harry said, kissing my forehead before going out into the hallway with Louis. I quickly pulled on a sleeveless jean shirt and a pair of pink jeans. After brushing through my hair, I slipped on white flats and walked down to room 601.

The room was a small conference room and the boys were all spread out around the table along with some of the crew. I made myself a bowl of fruit before sitting next to Harry, listening to his conversation. "We have to leave for rehearsal at 8," Niall said between mouthfuls of food. He shot me a look and I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "Grab a waffle or pancakes or french toast Elle!"

I shook my head and sighed deeply. It wasn't that I was over or under weight. It was that Harry worried too much about me and it quickly rubbed off on the other boys. I grabbed a piece of french toast from Harry's plate and ate it quickly before starting on my fruit. I listened once the focus was off of me.

"First concert of the tour!" Louis said excitedly. "The first of many shows." This made me miss home more and more. I wanted to sleep in my own big bed, not a different hotel every night. I wanted to sleep in and I wasn't going to be able to for a long time. I thought back to when I used to never sleep.

"Something wrong?" Harry whispered to me, shaking me from my thoughts. "You look like you have something on your mind." I shook my head and finished my fruit before quickly heading back to the room. I opened up my journal so I could write before Harry and Louis came back.

It's coming back. I can feel it. I don't want to fall into my old ways. Harry was so angry the first time around and I don't think he'll be any less this time. The boys will figure it out eventually I'm sure, I can't hide it. Nobody can.

I'll set a goal for myself. I can make it to Paris. We just have Verona and Milan, then Paris. I can do it. And if I can't, when we leave Paris for Spain, I'll tell Harry and he'll help me until we get home. That's what I'll do, I promise.

I finished the last bit as Harry and Louis came back to our room. "We have a surprise for you," Harry said, waiting until I packed my journal away in my bag. "You'll see at the stage and I know you'll love it." I faked a smile and followed him into the elevator with the other boys.

He doesn't suspect a thing.

AN: I read like 3 wattpad books last night that we're related to suicide and depression and dark subjects. I got some idea's from these books and at the beginning of the next chapter, I will mention that book and author. Her idea's are brilliant and she deserves credit.