Alchemy •Dan Smith•

thirty four

Jade's POV

After him stating he had no regrets, my tears welled over onto my cheeks, falling onto the pillow. What have we done? Even if I thought about what it would be like to sleep with him, I didn't want it to be a drunken accident that could quite possibly end our friendship.

"Don't cry love, it's okay. We could just forget it happened, yeah?" He said trying to reassure the both of us. He raised his fingers towards my cheek, causing me to flinch. He retreated, with a look of hurt crossing his expression.

I muttered a 'sorry' and decided to turn back to face the ceiling. Before I could, he placed a hand on my hip, with a soft force that offered authority and attention.

We made eye contact, and he licked his lips before speaking.

"Jade, love, I saw some things last night. Some,uh, some stuff you do to yourself."

My eyes widened, "w-what are you talking about?"

His thumb began to move on my bare hip bone, "These love, I saw these." He sighed, feeling the lines and marks under the pad of his thumb. "That's not all I saw, I-I saw you,ehm, you made yourself sick to get out the food you had eaten."

"It was probably because I was drunk, people do silly things." I said, trying to convince him that it wasn't a common occurrence.

"You said something along the lines of 'too much food is bad.' What would you mean by that?" He continued to press into the subject, much to my discomfort.

"Probably ate way to much of whatever it was and felt sick." I muttered, looking down towards my sheet covered body. His hand still rest on my hip and I could see the lump through the sheet, protruding from my large body.

"You haven't explained the scars love, why? What made you do it?"

"I haven't done it in a long time, I was in a dark place and it was an escape."

"Then why is a lyric from my song on you? Why does it look merely days old? That's not long ago, don't lie to me."

"Alchemy is a common word, why assume I took it from your song?" I raised my eyes to meet his.

"The mornings after the nights I sing, I see you leaving the building with no bags under your eyes. You think I didn't notice you pass out once I started singing the first night I stayed over?" He mused, his fingers slowly ghosting down to the scar of discussion.

"It's my favorite song." I whispered, a blush making its way to my already flushed cheeks.

"Doesn't mean you should etch it into your skin." He replied with a hint of anger.

"It's a reminder."

"A reminder of?"

"A reminder that it's going to take alchemy to change me."

He furrowed his brows, "What do you mean 'change you'?"

"That's none of your business," I stated, "You've asked enough questions."

"Because I care enough to want answers."

"You don't care, so don't lie to me." I sighed, quickly turning towards the ceiling. His hand still lay on my bare stomach, and it only made me more aware of the fatness he was resting on. God it must be like a fucking pillow.

"Don't say that."

"I'm only saying the truth Daniel. Your lying to me and you got in my pants, what more do you want?"

"Love, listen. Listen to me when I say this. I am not lying to you. I care about you so much, I don't even know how it's possible in the short time we have grown close. I didn't 'get into your pants'. We made a drunk mistake. One that seemed consensual on both parts. All I want is for you to see that you are worth being cared for and I wouldn't lie about it."

He moved his hand upward, lifting it slightly so he didn't touch my bust, and placed it on my cheek, which now was stained with dried tears.

"Your full of shit. I know how it works, someone like you doesn't care for someone like me." I whispered, turning towards him as his stormy eyes met my cold vacant ones.

"I'm nothing but a broken man trying to fix a broken woman, is that so wrong?" He muttered, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. His eyes held longing and sadness, and I became suddenly aware of how close they were to mine.

"Your far from broken, your a masterpiece," my thoughts slipped out, causing heat to rise to my cheeks. "A god damn masterpiece."

He only shook his head, and gave a me a broken smile, "I'm am nothing."

With those words, I lifted my hand to cup his cheek just like he did with mine.

"Oh Daniel." I sighed. My mind was diverted from the fact he had picked part of me undone, that he knew things he shouldn't. It was diverted from the fact we had drunken sex. The only thing that was on the surface of my mind was the admiration I had for the man in front of me.

He kept his gaze on me for a moment, dark blue orbs glistening as they stared at my pale blues. Then he used the hand on my cheek to guide my face to his, locking our lips together. The thing was, I couldn't find the will to pull away.