i wrote this for you

"why do you love him?"

"why do you love him?" i feel like this is always the most difficult question. sometimes i feel like i don't really know. not because i don't know but because there are just so many reasons that i genuinely don't know if i even have the words for them. but why do i love him?

of course i think of the basics: his eyes, his lips, his hair, his hands.. then there's the parts that no one has ever seen of him. his vulnerability because of his feelings, the way he looks into my soul as though he's been waiting for me forever. how being with him feels like home. his half-awake half-asleep husky and alluring voice when i call to wake him up some mornings. how he holds me close to him and how gently touches me or runs his fingers across my skin. how his arms tighten around me when he kisses me. how he holds my hand like i'm gonna break if he squeezes too hard. but that's not everything. he's passionate about his future. he's ambitious and driven with his career and success. how much he cares to keep coming back even when i keep making mistakes. how much he must love me to still stay with me even when he's so angry and mad at me that he hates me. how he always helps everybody despite the mistakes they've made. how loyal he is no matter how long or short of a time he's known someone. how he doesn't care about what his friends or family or just people think and how he always makes his own decisions after concise criticism and without influence of anyone or anything else. how he loves his parents and his respect for them. when i was at a point in my life where i had given up on people and dreams and life and basically everything else, i was at this breaking point where i hated everyone and everything and i was selfish and miserable and i wanted everyone else around me to be, my demons were at their climax and then he came in and he made himself a part of my life, he forced himself inside my world and then he became my world. he fixed me and i didn't even want him to. he loved me when i couldn't love anything at all, let alone myself.

and then i fell for him.
i fell for his heart.