I Fell From The Dark

17

'You're a worker. That means that you're an artificial intelligence, designed to live in a synthetic biological body, built to work for our makers. Your processor – the thing which is actually you – is lying on a desk in my lab. I retrieved it from storage. It's hard to say what happened before that, because the AI which was controlling your ship went insane, but I think you were recovered from an unstable orbit from around our star. This, here where we're sitting, is a simulation: it's a virtual reality that you and I can live in. You're not wearing goggles or anything like that: you're experiencing this directly into your mind. I don't know who or what this Pilgrim is, I'm afraid, or why you were in that orbit. But I think I need to know both those things, so I'm hoping you remember them.'

She stared at him. 'What?' was all she could say. Even though she'd guessed that she was a machine, even though she remembered the shock of finding herself alone in space, it was still hard to hear it said so baldly.

He smiled, sadly.

'You never found out, huh? It happens, especially if they were in a hurry. I'm sorry that I'm the one to tell you.'

Mia shook her head, and stared into the fire. It's heart was made of fragments of glowing wood, while flames licked the higher logs. The heat poured from it, washing over her face and hands.

Is this a simulation?

She reached out to the flames, and winced at the pain.

'It's a simulation, but I wouldn't burn yourself. It'll hurt,' said Jean. 'This is, to all intents and purposes, reality. Do you remember anything?'

The dream memories came flooding back. So much jumbled noise and pain, but no coherency or details. And yet, she could remember watching The Princess Bride as a little girl, curled up on sofa with a bag of microwave popcorn. The silly thing with the two chocolates brought it flooding back, and it seemed impossible that she could have forgotten it.

She shook her head again, dazed at the enormity of it.

I'd been the probe, she thought. Not been in the probe, but actually been it. No body, just metal and plastic. How could I be anything other than a thing?

But so far, no one has been telling me the truth, she thought.

She looked up to Jean, tried to catch his eye over the flames. 'How do I know that you're not lying to me? Pilgrim said that she knew me from some institute. That can't be true too. You might be the one making stuff up.'

He sipped his chocolate again. 'Who was this Pilgrim? Wait... The Solar Pilgrim was the first colony ship. Is that what its AI called itself? So you did come on the first ship. I was right. That's great that you can remember that. As to lying to you: yeah, I can imagine that you don't have much reason to trust me.'

He set his chocolate down, and raised his hands to the fire. To her left, the sun was lower, and the chill from the wind was sharper. The flames guttered in the breeze.

No, I don't trust you, she thought. I don't trust anyone. I don't trust myself.

'Okay, I'm going to tell you some more stuff,' he said, staring at her. 'The Solar Pilgrim arrived here, at Victoria, twelve years ago. The second colony ship, The Winged Traveller, got here six years later, even though they set off twenty years after: they were quicker, because they had better engines. So you've either been in space, or in storage for all this time. Since then, we built a city. Well, a big town, really. It's not exactly New York. And it's being evacuated, because something's coming. And we think that you know something about that, because you met it before. And you seem to remember things.

'I'm sorry that this is all so rushed, but I'm going to download you to a body now, because I need you in the real world. Are you ready?'

She pushed her hands through her hair. A gust of helplessness tore at her, stronger and colder than the sea breeze.

'Wait,' she said. 'Wait. Can you... help me?'

'I can try. With what?'

'My dreams. I keep dreaming about... Well, I don't know what. I think it was me. I want to know the truth. At least, that truth. I'm not sure I want to know about the rest of it.'

He looked down at his hands.

'I can't promise I can solve anything for you, I'm afraid. And if you do find out, you might not like what you find. But, yes, I will help, as best as I can. Now, are you ready?'

She looked out towards the sun. It wasn't much more than a glow over the horizon, the western sky almost night, the eastern sky already black.

I will miss this place, she thought.

'Yes,' she said. 'Yes, I am ready.'