As I lay here...

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And as I lay here dying drowning from the tears

I know this is best for the future brings me fears

I haven’t been what I wanted or what anyone hoped

But as I’ve said before “I’m tired, I just wanna let go

Before you judge me remember you don’t know what I went through

Even though it doesn’t show abuse is still abuse

It might have stopped months ago but I still have effects

But people think it is just attention I want they call it “a defect

I know by doing this I’m making no one proud

But please just let my be, I want silence all around

People shouldn’t mourn, for this is what I’ve wanted

It was just too much for me, I didn’t want to be haunted

No more cares, no more fears

No more laughs, no more tears

Silence brings me peace, peace that I’ve needed

For I’m no longer in fear that I’ll always be defeated

So for the cruel world that brought me in I say “sayonara

‘Cuz for me there will be no tomorrow

And as I lay here dying, there will be no gasping

For I am willing to do what I myself am asking

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