Alexandra Rose

Chapter 38

Alexandra's POV

There are so many terrible things in life. There has been so many terrible things that's happened to me in my life— something no one can imagine going through.

The amount of pain he brought me. He made me feel lifeless every single day and enjoyed watching me crumble beneath his feet all with a sadistic smile.

The amount of intolerable pain I felt while living with him was so much and so indescribable. All I wished for those days was for everything to end because I couldn't stand another day of torture.

I couldn't stand living.

I didn't want to live.

I hated myself for all the thoughts of ending my life. I hated how I didn't value life enough but can you blame me? I was tormented so badly that all I wished for was to be free. Death was the only thing that sounded so good that time. It sounded like the only viable option for me because I had no one and nothing to live for.

The pain I felt was enough to break every piece of my heart. It was the most painful time of my life.

But now as I wait in the waiting room of the hospital, I feel even more pain that I ever had in my entire life as I think about losing the only person in my life that gave me a reason to live.

The only person in my life that makes me feel beautiful and the only person in my life that makes me so happy that I could finally say, I have a reason to live.

Everett makes life worth living for. He doesn't know how much his existence matters to me. He showed me the kind of affection and care that one could never get enough of.

Our story had just started and yet, I sit here in the uncomfortable chairs of the waiting room as tears uncontrollably roll down my cheeks.

I cry as I think about how I may never be able to tell Everett how much his existence means to me. I may never be able to show him the affection and care that he always shows me.

He saved me, while getting himself hurt in the process. I didn't want him to and yet, he still did.

All I had were scrapes and bruises and a cut on my forehead while he didn't even seem like he was breathing when I cried for him to stay awake.

I didn't know how much I needed him in my life until I felt him cradling my head close to his chest as I heard his heart beat slow down.

Everett matters to me more than I matter to myself. He's the person that stole my heart and locked it in his heart and I never want it back.

I never believed in god because he never helped me when I was in the worst state in life. But now, I close my eyes and pray that Everett would be okay. I prayed that he can give me all the pain in my life and I would take it, as long as Everett's okay.

Because I can't imagine my life without him.

I thought my heart was already in pieces when I was tortured in the hands of... him. But now, it feels like my heart was taken away the moment I heard his slow heart beats. I feel more pain than I ever have in my entire life.

Nothing will prepare me for the pain I would be feeling if I ever lost the only boy in my life that showed me what happiness is like.

God I can't even imagine losing him.

I choke on my own sob as I pray that my boy will make it and I'll be able to hear him call me beautiful. I pray that I'll be able to see his green eyes again as I tell him how pretty they are.

I pray that I'll be able to see his gorgeous smile again as I tell him how perfect he is.

I pray that I'll be able to be in his arms again because I love the feeling it brings me. I pray for his kisses and I pray to be able to tell him how much I have fallen in love with him.