Thy Will, Not Mine

Chapter {46} Antonio

"Oh, hi Des," he waved at her but when she did not reply he was not only bewildered but sad but decided not to poke and probe.

"Let's go home," I pulled the car into ignition.

"I'm going nowhere!" Destiny asserted as she tried to pry the door open but thankfully, I had locked the doors and she had no choice but to stay seated.

"How are you?" I tried asking her but like Giovanni, she ignored me.

Giovanni gave me a worried stare in the rearview window which I caught with a look that said I would tell him everything later.

We finally reached the house and had to pull her in with me and under the bright lights I was able to make out her features; her hair was sticking to her face, her mouth was dry and streaks of tears marked her cheeks and this was all because of me.

"I will walk you to your room so that you can freshen up," I said as this time she did not protest and tire filled her eyes and she obliged to my wishes.

We reached her room and just as she walked up to the adjoining bathroom, I pulled her down on the bed that I was seated on.

"I'm sorry," I said as tears fell down her cheeks like a fountain, further breaking my heart.

"I'm sorry for lying to you, but know that I love you more than the word itself. I love you, Destiny. Please find it in your heart to forgive me," I pleaded.

"I just need time, can you give me that?" she asked and if that was all she needed I would grant her wishes.

"Okay, anything you ask for, I will give you," I said rubbing her soft hand with my own.

"Thank you," she whispered, her honey orbs looking at me as if to memorise me before she left me.

Literally.

The following morning, she wasn't in her room but there was a letter on her bed. At first, I was panicked, thinking it was Izan until I saw her handwriting.

I sat on her bed, contemplating reading it, knowing that the contents of the letter would break me.

DEAR ANTONIO

ANTONIO, I GAVE YOU MY HEART ON A SILVER PLATTER. I DEDICATED MY ENTIRE BEING TO YOU, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS.

BUT IT'S TRUE RIGHT, THE ONE'S YOU LOVE MOST WILL HURT YOU MORE.

ANTONIO, YOU HAVE BROKEN MY HEART INTO TWO AND I DON'T THINK THAT IT CAN EVER BE MENDED.

I LOOKED PAST YOUR LACK OF FAITH, I LOOKED PAST YOUR WAYS AND SAW YOUR HEART AND RAN AFTER IT BUT IT WAS ALL IN VAIN.

YOU WERE KILLING PEOPLE BEHIND MY BACK, YOU WERE LYING STRAIGHT TO MY FACE WITHOUT ANY REGRET.

I FEEL BETRAYED AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN GET PAST THAT.

AND THAT IS WHY, I HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE. LEAVE YOU AND EVERYTHING WE EVER HAD BEHIND.

IF I STAY WITH YOU, I WOULD BE DYING A SILENT DEATH EACH DAY AND I CANNOT GO THROUGH THAT.

I LOVE YOU, ANTONIO BUT WE WERE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE. YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE, SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOT.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND I HOPE YOU FIND CHRIST FOR MONEY IS IN VAIN BUT FAITH IN HIM IS ETERNAL.

BY THE TIME YOU SEE THIS LETTER, I WILL BE LONG GONE. PLEASE DON'T COME LOOKING FOR ME.

YOURS SINCERELY

DESTINY.

         << END OF FLASHBACK >>

And ever since, I had not seen her but no moment passed without thoughts of her and what we had coming to mind.

I had tried making alcohol my refuge but everytime I brought it close to my lips, it was as I could hear her whipering, "Be not drunk by alcohol but be drunk by the spirit." And that's when I started going to church with Giovanni's encouragement in pursuit of this spirit and when I encountered the Spirit there, my life changed for the better. I knew who Christ was, and I let go of my past life.

Finding forgiveness was not easy. I thought I desevered to go to hell, I deserved to suffer for all of eternity for hurting so many people but in my relationship with Him, I learnt that He is more than just God, He is a Father, a Lover, a Best Friend, and He is filled with tender-mercies and forgives when one sincerely repents.

I had let go of any possession and position I had in the mafia and I was an entrepreneur, going to class religiously and reading my Bible as a form of refuge.

As I pulled out of my reverie Giovanni gave me a sympathetic glance as the girl left.

And the last thing I expected from him came out of his mouth, "Do you want Destiny?"

"With all of my being," I replied honestly.

"Then, let's go get her. And don't even say no, she loves you and you love her. Go get the one you love."

"You're right," I said determination seeping into my voice.

"South Africa, here we come!"