Praying For A Miracle (mxm)

Chapter Twenty Five

"Love you too, mum."

As soon as I'm in my room, I shut the door and stare at myself in the mirror. I'm still dressed down in Declan's clothes and I smile at the reflection. Happiness looks good on me. I can't remember the last time I looked at my reflection and flinched from the dullness of my expression, my eyes. Everything about me.

Maybe my mother is right. That spark has come back, I've been so deprived of life that I didn't even notice it. I might still be tired but waking up is easier, getting through my day is easier and then being rewarded with seeing Declan, it makes it all worth it.

I don't want to take his clothes off. I want to snuggle up to them and let his soft laundry scent wrap itself around my body tonight... see this is the side of me that is overwhelming.

A side that I don't want Declan to see yet because he'll realise that I'm obsessed.

Even an unhealthy obsession.

I climb into bed with his clothes still on and slip beneath the sheets. My eyes shut and even though I'm tired and content, I still can't sleep. I don't want to because I keep replaying tonight on loop. Remembering every little detail.

Declan brings me joy. He brings me so much damn joy.

I never want it to stop.

✧

On Saturday River throws Alex a birthday party at his apartment. It's been a while since I've been to a gathering at his house, it must have been his last birthday because I was stupid drunk and making a fool out of myself in front of Alex. I was ashamed.

I'm relieved to spend some time with my friends, have a drink and chill the hell out. I've been craving it since I heard about the party.

I turn up thirty minutes late but at least I brought alcohol along with me. When I step inside music is playing fairly quietly and River's apartment is packed. I say packed, the space is small which makes everything else exaggerated.

Demi and Troy are in the kitchen, River has his arm around Alex's shoulder as they speak to River's sister, Daisy and a girl that I don't recognise. A few friends from Alex's work, along with River's too. I know Alex didn't have that many friends when he came to town but I'm glad that he's got us now.

I walk across the room, Alex's grey eyes find mine and they light up. "Hey!" He exclaims and I step forward to give him a hug.

"Hey," I murmur into his shoulder. "Happy birthday."

He pulls away slowly. "It's not until Monday but thank you."

"I got you a present," I say as I pull the gift bag up to his hands.

Alex blinks and shakes his head. "You didn't need to get me anything," he says seriously.

"I had to," I shrug.

"Thank you," he smiles before opening the present.

It's nothing major, considering I really don't have loads of money to play with right now but I guess it's the thought that counts. Right?

Alex pulls out a recipe book I saw in the shop a few weeks ago. I remember when he told us about experimental foods and this book caught my eye instantly. His eyes scan the present and he glances at me, eyes softening. "Luca," he says softly and then hugs me again. "Thank you."

"What is it?" River appears at his side.

"A new recipe book but it's an experimental one." He flicks through the pages. "It looks incredible."