Don't wanna be his

Chapter 5. Awkward talking

Jhanvi

His words made my heartbeat up to the sky, It was a dumb question to ask, I hope he didn't think I wanted to do this with him on the first night, he probably did think I wanted to do this didn't he? And he probably thought I was a freak who couldn't wait, I'm so dumb to just randomly say that. The way he's so close to me is making me want to push him off the bed and scream while I run out of this room, I shouldn't be thinking that when I'm the one who brought up the topic, I need to get some confidence and have a proper talk like husband and wife do, If I already can't talk imagine in the future.

"N-" his face moved closer to mine as I was about to speak, I could feel his breath on my lips, if I moved my face even a bit our faces would meet and if I backed away I'd slip off the bed, I don't know why I've put this up to myself but I can always slap him, he's your husband, not a random man that'll harass you, he won't harass me? What if he does? God help me with this one, please. Moving a bit closer he put his both knees on the bed while my back was against the pillow, his hands on both of my sides making my situation worse, why is he staring at me like that? Did I make him mad with what I said? This is no time to get lost in your thoughts jhanvi, build up courage and clear this out before something happens between the two of you.

"Nahi mene ese hi bola kyu khi log karte hai esa" I said putting my hands in front of my face as if I were trying to push him away, what's wrong with me? Why am I getting nervous? And what's with him? Why's he so close to me? A lot of thoughts were on my mind while I tried adjusting myself a bit back, I tried keeping as much distance possible between the two of us even if it seemed impossible at the point, I might fall at any second but I'd drag him with me, he's the responsible one after all, I'm already acting like a child.

"Ji ese lag to nahi raha" he said with a small chuckle, I knew it, he got the wrong idea about me. I still have time to explain myself but how? I should just try and convince him that it was a random thought when it was. I've never kissed a man before so forget having sex with him.

"Nahi sach me" Looking at him I say, he laughed making me confused, does he not believe me? He probably thinks I'm trying to lie, this is getting so weird and awkward.

"I believe you, I was just joking" he said making my heart beat normal, thank god he didn't think any dumb stuff about me, He doesn't know how relieved his answer just made me. I guess he's the funny type of person who likes to joke around, but joking around like that almost gave me an anxiety attack. I have a feeling we may be getting along with each other but I need to know more than his name, I'll divert the conversation and ask him something else before I say something stupid again.

"Vese apki job kya hai?" I asked with a soft smile, he had a huge mansion with bikes and cars outside. I love bikes and he had every kind of it so I'm guessing his job is something that pays a lot, just hoping it won't turn out to be mafia-like my dad, I'd divorce on point, he can be charming, funny, sexy, cute or whatever he wants to but I don't want anything to do with the mafia anymore, that's something I've decided long ago, and I'm not changing my mind on that, I've lost all connections with my parents cause of their business so I can't imagine my husband being in the mafia.

He cleared his throat not saying anything making my heart skip a beat, god no, don't tell me he's a part of the mafia, I'm not ready for that answer, I'd push him off and jump from the window in less than a second if he said he was.

"Lawyer" that's something I'll not believe, lawyers do get paid a lot but not enough to have a huge mansion with so many maids and bodyguards, maybe I'm oversuspecting him but it's not believable, he could have said something else but what if he isn't lying? What if it's just in my mind? But what if it isn't?