Chasing Wattpad

Message to all followers from...Psycho...V

Hey stalkers. Here is the latest batch email messages that end up in my inbox. To answer a personal message no I don't crop them or leave anything out. The messages you read here are complete and unedited. You should recognize some of them as we surely follow some of the same people. I love reading these things. They give good insight about the writers. 

I do read all the emails in my inbox and try to read whatever they are promoting. I try and do it every  couple of days because they can pile up. But like the rest of you time is limited. Still though, they are all worth reading. The ones here just kind of stick out because they are peculiar in some in some way or another. 

1. "I don't owe any of you any damn updates!"

Breathe. Just breathe. You are suffering from Wattpad " update exhaustion". Yes, it's a real thing. Get off your computer and go hug your wife and kids. Have someone hide all the knives from your kitchen. See you in a couple of months. Or not. 

2. "I love my yoga pants!"

I know you did this just to piss me off. It worked. You're dead to me. 

3. "GOODBYE ELECTRONIC WORLD"

01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01100010 01111001 0100101 :(

4. "Sorry about not being around here much. I was not around".

Makes sense to me. 

5. "You're killing me Wattpad!"

Makes even more sense. 

6. "I don't get it. Nobody reads my stuff. Who does somebody have to sleep with around here to get some reads?"

:)

7. "I wish that Chasing Wattpad guy would stop quoting me!"

Ha. Ha. 

8. "Ugh...people please read my bio. I don't have time to read. Stop asking."

Ugh...I've read your stuff. You should read more. 

9. "My new book is out! Feel free to go to Amazon and buy it!"

Does it have a title?

10. "I have 10,000 followers! That's inconceivable! Inconceivable!

You keep using that word. I don't think that word means what you think it means.