A World We Live In (BDSM|ManxMan) A World Series: BOOK THREE

Chapter #10| Confused

S E B 

Warning sexual content!

I dreamed of a bird.

Flying high in the sky, feeling free and unstoppable, nothing mattered, nothing can hurt me until I saw a gun aiming straight at me, it shot a bullet until it went through my chest. I dreamed of a bird falling down to earth, falling down to reality and falling down to my nightmare. I gasped feeling sweat roll down my cheek, I looked around in panic as I touch my chest, I remembered the dream then sighed, it was just a dream. 

I groaned feeling my head throbbed, I sighed as I looked up and notice I'm in an unfamiliar room, it's not mine that's for sure. I looked around noticing it looked like a hotel room, I tried to remember what happened last night but it's just a blur for me. 

"These will ease your headache" someone said. I froze, images flash before me, the happiness I notice knew and the man I come to love. The voice was familiar, I pray hoping it's not him, I can't face him, not now and not ever. I dared to look up and saw his handsome face, I gasped unable to utter a word or sound. H-He's here, he's really here and I pinch my wrist hoping this is dream but it's not, it's reality and he's really here. 

"W-Why?" I whispered. I bite down onto my bottom lip trying to stop myself from crying, he looked down, sadness and guilt linger in his glaze. I looked away, I cannot believe he's here, after four years he returns, he really did return but why?

"Take the pills Sebby" he said. I gasped, he called me Sebby, a tear roll down my cheek only he calls me by that name. 

"Don't call me that" I hissed. I grab the pills and drink it down with a glass of water, we both remained silent in the hotel room. My mind was a mess, I couldn't keep my thoughts at bay, him being here before me, makes me go crazy. 

"What happened last night?" I asked him

"You got drunk so I took you to the hotel" he replied. I nodded in response, I didn't bother asking how he knew which club I went to or who notify him. I let out a shaky sigh and rose from the bed, he stared at me closely. I felt a shiver went down my spine, I familiar feeling bubbled within me so I ignore it and went to take a shower. After I showered I returned to the room, I see Leon waiting on the bed, he looked so deep in thought but I didn't care what he's thinking about. I needed to leave as soon as possible, he doesn't understand how much he's hurt me. Leaving and returning out of the blue, does he think I'll be happy for his return? I'm not, it hurts me more seeing him because I knew I cannot resist him, I still love the bastard and it kills me because I need to move on but I don't want to. 

I grab my wallet left on the bedside table, I didn't bother giving him a glance as I make my way towards the door. My hand grip the handle, I feel tear droplets drop onto my hands, I look down seeing my hand slowly covered by my tears. My shaky hands grip the handle tight until I gasp feeling his chest touch my back. I bite down onto my bottom lip, I tasted my blood on my tongue but I didn't care, I didn't want him to see me like this. 

"Don't leave" he whispered. I shook my head, I need to leave, I need to leave before I get hurt once again. I deserve happiness, he ran and I didn't, I gave him my all and it wasn't good enough for him. 

"Let me explain" he said

"There's nothing to explain, go back where you came from" I replied. I heard him inhale sharply then sighed as his arm wrap around my waist pulling me close to his chest. I should be fighting him, I should be yelling at him but here I am crying. I miss his touch so much, I missed him so much and he doesn't realise that. I'm so confused and I'm not sure what I'm want right now, my whole life is just a mess, there won't be a happy ending for me. 

"Let me go Leon" I said

"No I'm not letting you go" he replied

"You have to, please I need this just let me go so I can forget you" I cried. Four years he's been gone and I still hadn't moved on, how stupid is that. I'm still waiting, hoping one day he'll return and wrap me in his arms and he did but why isn't that good enough for me? 

"No, don't forget me" he whispered. Something snapped within me, I turned around and roughly shoved him away from me. Tears roll down my cheek, I've had enough, I just can't do this anymore, all the sh*t happen in my life I just had enough. 

"Four f*cking years, you leave without a word. Do you have any idea how much you've broke me, I loved you, I became your submissive, I'm nothing without you. I had to handle being alone, handle the rumors about you leaving because of me. I couldn't think, I felt like I couldn't breathe because you left me. I looked everywhere for you, I waited for you and not even a call, I got nothing from you and look your here now" I cried 

"I'm so sorry baby, please I can explain" Leon pleaded

"Why must you come back! why the f*ck you here! why can't you let me forget you! why do you have to haunt my mind and my f*cking dreams" I yelled. My small fist bang his chest but Leon stood frozen as I continue to cry my heart out. This is why I didn't want Trent to see me like this, he doesn't deserve the pain I carry for years. 

"Baby I had to" he said. I laughed.

"What kind of bullsh*t of excuse is that" I replied. Suddenly I felt his lips touch mine, I moaned in response until I slap his face. 

"Don't touch me and don't kiss me!" I yelled. His large hands roam my body, my body heat up as I felt tingles shoot to my core. I couldn't resist him, I miss his touch so much that it's killing me within, I need to move on but I just can't. 

"I missed you so much baby" he whispered. He had me but it was his choice to leave me and I'm just paying the consequences. I moaned again, my body remembers his touch, it never forgotten, I threw my head onto his chest and moaned loudly. I panted, my mind blurred as I unable to think, just this pleasure consumes my whole being. 

"I need to be inside of you" Leon whispered. I didn't bother responding as I quickly nodded in response, I needed him in me. I needed proof he's here with me, I yelp in surprise as he carried my small body onto the king bed. He pulled my clothes off leaving me bare before him, I panted heavily seeing him strip his clothes off. I moaned watching his long fat c*ck twitch, I lick my lips wanting to have him in my mouth. I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to tell him more about what he put me through but nothing came out but another moan. 

I know this is wrong and we both shouldn't be doing this, I don't even know if he'd have a partner. The thought scares me but I missed him so much. I thought I'll be fine on my own, I thought forgetting Leon would be easy but it wasn't. The man I come to love haunt my dreams and thoughts, he doesn't understand how much I loved him. Leon spread my legs wide, he continued preparing me until he lines his c*ck onto my entrance. Soon he thrust deep inside my twitching channels, I threw my head back and whimpered his name. 

We stared into each others eyes, it's like nothing mattered between us, all the lies and hate vanished as we remained in an pleasurable void. The bed board smack against the white wall, my body slides up and down from his rough thrusts. My hand grip the sheets, I moaned again and again as I felt my release coming to it's peak. Leon pulled out then slam back in and immediately triggering my climax, my hole clench onto his c*ck as he release hard squirting his seed within me. We both laid beside each other panting, waiting for our breathe to ease. 

I sighed and got up and took a quick shower, I slide down the tile wall and laid my head onto my knees. What kind of an idiot I am to have sex with him? Four years he's been gone and I allowed him to have sex with me. I'm so confused, why must I confuse myself to the point I make stupid choices and at the end I only end up hurt. After my long shower I changed then leave the hotel room without looking back. I heard Leon calling my name but I didn't turn around, I heard footsteps catching up to me. I'm not even sure he dressed or not but I don't care, I press the button praying the elevator door open before he catches up to me. As the elevator ding I quickly went inside just in time to see his pained glaze staring at me until the door closed.