Bleeding Heart

chapter two

August, in one of the rare moments when he wasn't pissed at me, had asked me why really had I left Mom and Dad.

"Because they didn't want me there," I'd told him, surprised at the fact that we were talking civilly in the first place.

It had been an odd day, in retrospect. We'd baked cookies together. I don't know how that had happened, but I'd placed one of the cheap cake mix boxes on the kitchen counter (maybe as a peace offering) that I'd bought the same day from the grocery store, raised an eyebrow at Augy as he'd sulked at the couch, and then eventually he'd padded over in sock-clad feet to help me out.

We hadn't much conversed until that moment.

"But they did," he'd said, all confused and stubborn. "Mom told me you left because you wanted to. She said you wanted to run away with one of the servants."

"I didn't. She lied to you."

He'd stopped, seemed perturbed, then recited the line I knew was ingrained within him like it'd been dug deep inside me since childhood. "We don't lie to our own."

I'd scoffed. "That's the biggest lie on its own, Augy."

He'd not said anything after that. There had only been silence. And burnt cookies--but that's not what would've mattered anyway. Even if the cookies hadn't turned out awful, August still wouldn't have eaten them.

"Who's that for?" Kleo's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, making me look up from the dark apron in my hands, and close the locker shut once I'd placed my clothes inside.

I looked over at her, the unburnt cigarette dangling from her fingertips, as she eyed the gift bag I'd placed near the corner of the back room.

"August."

She let out a laugh. "Finally got him that telescope he's been wanting for ages?"

I gave a half shrug. "Either that or let him steal the neighbor's."

It hadn't worried me for more than a few seconds though when I'd realized why August had been sneaking into the neighbor's shed so very often now. He wouldn't steal. He'd just go there, sneak past the unlocked doors, look through their expensive (and ancient) collection of telescopes, and then he'd always come back.

I didn't even think he was aware that I knew. Maybe he'd be surprised when he sees the gift bag. But his birthday was coming up anyway, and I think--I knew--that this was the least I could do for him after being absent from his life for years.

"He's too sweet of a boy to steal." Kleo shook her head, then sighed. "Your uncle show his face yet?"

"He's not coming back."

"Did he tell you that himself?"

I gave her a look.

"Because he was here," she continued, "for a lot longer than you were, Alexis. Everyone in this wretched town owes Mikhail one way or another. He'd do odd errands for everyone, he was always there for everyone. You think he'd just up like that and leave?"

I pulled the apron over my head and tied the worn strings around my waist. "He wouldn't. That's how I know he's gone for good. And I can't blame him either. The least I can repay him with is letting him go."

Kleo sighed but didn't say anything more. She may know Uncle Misha, but she didn't know him like I did. She didn't know how much he'd done for me, despite his branded aloofness. He'd been there. He'd provided a safe space for me when I'd left Mom and Dad.

He'd looked after Augy just as much as he'd looked after me.

But now he wasn't here. I didn't know where he was--he hadn't so much as given me a word of explanation--and maybe he wasn't even alive anymore. Maybe he was dead. I didn't know because I hadn't seen his face in years.