Finding You

Chapter 7

Inanya Pov

I sat in front of the mirror zoning out with one name in mind, Alan. My own reflection felt like a stranger's.

My mother's voice brings me back to my senses and I realise it's time for me to put on makeup and a show for the guests coming to our house, or more like coming to see me. It felt weird, though I agreed to this willingly, and I want to give this a shot, I still feel that the whole arrangement is like someone getting my ownership. If they like how I look, talk, understand things, the way I can keep quiet, or lower my voice and how if everything in me is according to them, they would say YES and take me to their home after a grand ceremony.

Growing up in a brown household, muslim at that, we girls are trained for this very day. And here I was sitting with long sighs, holding my phone and the very last hope that Alan would come around. Tell me I shouldn't do this. I should be with him instead. How he told everyone in his family that I am the one for him, but my mind knew better than my heart that it was never happening. I had to let go of him and probably I would if everything today goes well.
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I was sitting ready, playing with my four year old niece, trying to ease my nervousness when I hear laughs from people I couldn't recognise. And that's when it struck me like thunder lightning that I wasn't dreaming and I had to go through this because I chose to. The reality was starting to creep on me ever so slowly that everything around me, even the loudest noise fell deaf on my ears. It was like my body was jelly, ready to fall on ground because it has no stand of its own.

Only when my cousin comes in my room, shaking my entire body, like bring me back to existence I realise that I had to step out of my little cocoon and sit among strangers. I think I asked one of the most stupid question to my sister to which I got a nice hit on my back.

"Do I need to model walk in front of them?"