Rare (Hozier)

Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you so much for the feedback, be it comments, votes or simply reads. It feels really nice seeing more and more people reading this story but yet this makes it an even bigger challenge for me to give my best. Ouch!

Anna's POV

I had never had so many remembering moments as in that week in my entire life. I would wake up in the morning and fall in this weird state while eating breakfast, 'waking up' sometime around lunchtime. Then the same would happen in the evening. I tried to change the environment and go to the park once but apparently I scared the people there with my little blackouts. I couldn't control them anymore. I knew I had this unquenchable thirst of self-destruct but I never thought it would get this far. I returned to my yoga classes, asked my psychiatrist for a bigger dose and after a while I got to the point when I had only one blackout a day, compared with four that I had the first day after coming back home to my loneliness. I eventually took the bull by the horns and gained some amount of control over my life again. I spent almost the whole day in the theatre, rehearsing by my own. I started to get better after ten days or so.

Dropping out of law school was a wise decision which gave me a lot more time to focus on my work. In a matter of days, I wrote four songs, cello and vocals and recorded them in a little studio I knew downtown. I was on my own again, a sick girl with nothing to do who lives by her memories. All this time there was not a second my mind wouldn't torture me with Andrew's image. What was he doing? Was he thinking about me? The fact that he hadn't given me any sign determined me to break the ice and text him while having some red wine by myself on the couch and listening to blues.

'It would be a big fat lie to say I didn't remember you but I've just been really busy these days. How are you?'

The reply came in a matter of seconds.

'Lovesick'

'Who with???' the question marks were a transcription of my curiosity and slight amount of irony.

'Some girl... It's not a big deal. She plays the cello'

Thanks for the clue, Mr Byrne.

'Hmmm weird how all your lovers play the cello :/' I teased.

'Well I guess that's me, a weird guy with sick preferences... How's London?'

'No more information till you tell me more about the girl'

'You're killing me'

The next message arrived a bit slower.

'Pale skin, green eyes, red hair, freckles... You'd think of her as the Irish stereotype, the female Leprechaun type - even though there's no such thing in Irish legends :P'

'Good to know. And this 'fake Leprechaun', do you love her?'

'More than she can ever imagine'

'Do you think she loves you back?'

'God... there are thousands of thoughts passing through her mind every moment, idk... She's pretty mysterious, enigmatic...'

'And do you think it's fair? Offering your heart to someone like her?'

'Life's not fair, Anna... And I guess you can say it with more certainty than me'

'Pragmatically speaking now, how long do you think you'll be together?'

'I'm a pessimist myself and as far as I can tell, so is her... you know I don't like clichés but I really think that she's the one'

A huge grin covered my face while tears were falling wildly. I didn't know how to reply so I waited for him to continue.

'The question is now, am I the one for her?'

With trembling fingers and a too fast beating heart I managed to type.

'You should ask her this. I'm sure she'll be honest with you.'

A few seconds later my phone rang in my hand, causing me to jerk and drop it. Picking it from the floor, I answered in a trembling voice due to my crying.

"Andrew?"

"Anna?"

'Yes.' I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued louder. 'The answer is yes!' I shouted through the phone.

"Really?!"

Andrew sounded so surprised and I could swear his voice sounded as if he was on the verge of crying.

"You serious?!"

"O'course I am! I love you so much! I can't live alone anymore, I can't even... Damn, Andrew, I need you!"

"I love you too Anna. I know how much you hate being told something seemingly as inconsistent as this but I love you more than any other girl! You're irreplaceable and these days far from you have been the saddest of my whole life. I've been so empty inside I thought I'd never be able to love again, to feel anything again... You ruined me in such a perfect way that you made me addicted to you. I know it sounds cheesy and..."

"Creepy" I cut him off right away laughing.

"Exactly! And it's so uncommon for me to say it but... You are the one I can't live without. I mean, I could live without you but... just physically speaking I'd be alive... Nothing more. Dead inside."

"Andrew..." I couldn't stop crying and on the other side I can tell he couldn't either.

"Anna..."

We stayed like that for a minute, listening to the other's sobs and laughter until Andrew announced his duty was calling.

"Oh, I should really be going now, the car's waiting..."

"Sure"

"Talk to you later babe"

"Yep. Bye, Andrew."

"Goodbye, my sweet Anna!"

I hung up, tears of joy rolling down my face. What was I doing? Did I just promise myself to someone? Did I just agree to share the rest of my life with a person? Was I so in love? God yes, I was! And I was willing to make all the sacrifices, break all the rules and let go of all my conceptions and ideas. I was now in love with the one person who was guaranteed to make my life worth living.