The Cellar (18)

784K 17.4K 9.1K
                                    

Chapter 18

Summer’s POV

I couldn’t move, I think my body was shaking but I wasn’t sure. Nothing felt real. Someone was saying something. “Lily, Lily. Shh it’s okay.” I made myself to concentrate on the voice. “It’s going to be okay.” I forced my head to look up, it was Poppy. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. “Don’t worry, it’ll be alright,” she said soothingly. Will it be alright? “You want me to help you to the bathroom?” I nodded; at least I think I did.

Somehow we made it to the bathroom but I don’t remember walking in here. I was still gripping the sheet around myself. Why can’t I feel anything? I couldn’t even cry, I should be crying. Poppy turned the shower on, “Call if you need me okay,” she said as she walked out and closed the door.

I stood perfectly sill just staring at the shower, completely unable to move. Why couldn’t I move? At least tried to fight him off? I wanted to scream, I wanted to kill him but I couldn’t do a thing, I just laid still, my traitorous body like a statue.

Finally I managed to force my fingers open and let the sheet drop on the floor but it took me another five minutes before my legs responded. I eventually stepped forward under the warm water. I looked down and my whole body was still shaking, I couldn’t fell it.

The water ran over my head and down my face, and then it hit me, what he’d done. I fell to my knees and started crying; I pushed my back against the wall and wrapped my arms around my legs as I cried so hard I could barely breathe. I’ve only ever been with Lewis, he was the only one I ever wanted to be with and he’s taken that away from me. Would Lewis still want me now? I’ll never be good enough for him after this; I’ll never feel clean or pure again.

I scrubbed my skin but I could barely see anything, everything was blurry from crying so much. I felt dirty and no amount of scrubbing was making it feel any better. I eventually turned the shower off and stumbled out, I was still crying and gasping to get my breath back. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face over me, I ran to the toilet and threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach.

“Lily,” Poppy said, knocking on the bathroom door. I gripped the towel and pulled it around me tighter, I didn’t want anyone to see me, I felt disgusting. “Can I come in?” Nothing came out when I tried to talk again so I just sat back and wiped the tears from my face, it was pointless though because more just fell in their place.

Poppy pushed the door open and peered around the side. She looked at me with a sad expression and pity in her eyes. I turned away, not wanting to see that look ever again. She knelt down in front of me and I tensed up a little. “This is going to be a stupid question but are you okay?” she asked softly. I shook my head. “I know, sorry. I know this isn’t much but it never lasts more than a few minutes, I promise.” It wasn’t much; I don’t want him near me for a second.

I opened my mouth but couldn’t form words; just this croaky sound came out. “Shh, I know. You don’t need to say anything,” Poppy said, wiping my tears away. “Come on; let me take you to the bedroom, think you need some sleep.” She practically picked me up and helped me into some pyjamas, I hid my body from her as much as I could but I needed her help getting dressed, I couldn’t do anything.

Poppy helped me in bed and pulled the cover over me like I was a child. Heather was already fast asleep, I feel so sorry for her and her family. I wish I could just speak to Lewis, even just for a second. I started crying again, soaking the pillow in minutes. My body was still shaking and I felt sick but I don’t think I even have the energy to throw up right now. I want to kill him.

I closed my stinging eyes and tried to force my mind to stop picturing the smile on his face. I made myself think of Lewis, his smile, his laugh, his stupid smirk and the way he would look at me, how easily he could make me laugh, the feel of his lips on mine, his hand stroking my cheek. He made everything so special for my first time, it was perfect.

The CellarWhere stories live. Discover now