exile

nine

i shutter a deep breath and let out a choked sob, "oh josie.." she says and this is beyond her, and she knows it i can tell by the way her hands still and she gets up, "i'll be right back okay? i'm going to fix this." she says and leaves the room.

the sobs escape my throat as tears are coming out of my eyes, i'm fucking pathetic is all i can think. i hear the door open softly and close. i don't know how long she's been gone and i feel the weight of the bed shift. i tense at first and then a hand comes up and pushes my hair off my sweaty neck. and it hits me apples and mint and it's malfoy.

"you're okay darling.." he whispers and he lays down next to me and wraps his arm around my waist pulling me into his back, "you can feel however you'd like in this moment but, you'll survive this. you always do." malfoy says and i close my eyes and shake my head.

i'm not sure i'll survive this again.

"you will" he whispers and he's here. and he's holding me and i feel the shaking slowly stop. one arm around me and the other pushing my hair behind my ear. my eyes are squeezed shut and he's mumbling nonsense.

"theo fell today and now his ass is bruised.."

"blaise and granger can you believe that? you must tell me where that came from.."

"my mother wrote for the first time since we've been back.."

after a while of him talking to him self i start to move. i let out a whimper as everything fucking hurts, "slowly figgins. you've been tensed up for hours, give yourself time.." he says and helps me turn on my back and i let my eyes open , it's blurry at first. but a few blinks and his thumb wipes the tears out from under my eyes i can see him looking down on me.

"there she is" he smiles and all i can do is look at him, not trusting my voice yet. i inhale and exhale and try to unclinch my hands but i know i've broken the skin. i pull them up to my face and look seeing the now dried blood and finger nail marks.

"let me.." he says grabbing my hands, i go to pull them away from him but he gives me a look and i let him take them back in his.

he whispers something and i see the blood and marks go away and then he's.. massaging them. prying each finger to relax and into my wrist, and then he does the same to my other hand.

"where else does it hurt?" he asks and i lift my head up my shoulders won't allow it.

"s-shoulders" i whisper and he nods he pulls me up and i wince, "sorry.. i'm sorry.." he says and it's so gentle, he's being so gentle with me. he holds me up and climbs behind my back and then puts each leg on the side of mine he still holds me up and then his hands start digging into my shoulders as i let out a moan and my head falls forward.

"better?" he whispers in my ear and i nod, "much" i say to him my voice more sturdy and trusting now. he continues to work my shoulders and into my back. after a few minutes of sitting up and my energy starting to deflate he lets me fall into his chest. i pull my legs up to where my thighs are sitting up and knees bent, my feet pressed into the mattress as my eyes close, head on his chest.

his hands find my thighs and start pushing on them, i open my eyes and watch. it's like he knows where the pressure points are and exactly where the aches are. but then he stops when he moves towards my hips and squeezes for a second before releasing and wrapping up around my stomach and holding me into him.

i let my arms fold over his and i turn my head to the side, cheek pressed against him and his chin is sitting on top of my head.

"why are you here?" i ask him and he takes a breath.

"granger came and got me. was a proper mess. i couldn't quite get out what she was saying other than your name and needs help so i came" he says and hermione knew exactly what i needed and it was him.