ATTENTION: YOU MUST READ FRESHMEN YEAR FIRST!
Freshly new nineteen year old, Shai Carter, is back with even more madness. Entering his sophomore year of college, Shai returns with an "I don't care" attitude that surely raises some eyebrows and stirs...
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🏀 Hampton University, Virginia Not Gon' Cry by Mary J. Blige Sat. Sept. 11th, 4:30 PM "Tears for One Last Night"
Have you ever been sad to the point where you wished for sleep? A long sleep? A deep sleep that was hard to wake up from? A sleep that might hurt others but make you feel good on the inside. Because that's how he felt. Every time he shut his eyes, he wished for them to never open again. He wished to take his last deep breath and fall into a peaceful slumber forever. Never awaking ever again to deal with family issues, depression, distrust, and fake love.
That's what he wanted. But you don't always get what you want in life. And sometimes you have to thug it out even though you don't want to. What makes matters simply worse, he had someone there to help but didn't want it. He didn't think he could handle it on his own. He just wanted it to be over. Completely over.
Shai rested on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't at school this time around. He was resting at home, preferring the privacy much more. Everything was quiet and that was because no one knew he was here. He didn't want there to be any disturbance to anyone's everyday activities. So, he parked his car further down from the house, snuck inside through the back door, and been in his room for two days now.
He didn't come out to eat or drink. He had his own bathroom so he didn't have to leave to use it. He stayed quiet too, only resting in his bed and crying to himself. Silently though. He was tired but couldn't sleep through the night. His mind refused to stop running and that only annoyed him. But what he was thinking went with how he was feeling. Going into details would be too much for an average person but his thoughts were real and extreme.
He was also starving. He hasn't eaten since he was at work Thursday and that was only a granola bar. But also wasn't hungry either. If he ate then he would throw up. Leaving him wanting more food just for him to end up throwing up again. It was all too much, yes, but he dealt with it as best as he could. Isolating himself from any possible help sent his way. Why? Because he hate asking for help. People would throw it right back in his face or not help at all and leave him feening for himself. So, either way he rather do it alone than do it with someone.
It was better that way.
And he knew that he was hurting someone along the way. He hated himself for that and wanted to make things right. But how could he be good to another if he wasn't good to himself? It didn't make sense. Nonetheless, he was praying he got out of this mood soon. And he hoped it was fast too.
His negative thoughts were interrupted when his stomach loudly growled. He needed to eat but didn't have the strength to get up. He just wanted to stay in bed and sulk. It was the only thing he was good at. His stomach growled again and he began to feel pain. He ignored his body call for food and turned on his side. He was getting better at ignoring things. It was making his life so much better, so he thought.
