Chapter 49

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2 days later

sam pov

we are at the hospital and i am nervous as hell.

they took our eggs and yesterday we found a sperm donor. he's pretty cute, smart athletic but that's not the point of this.

what if we can't do this?

what if something goes wrong?

"sam. relax. everything will be okay." selena's voice knocked me out of my thoughts.

i looked at her on the table and sighed.

i took her hand into mine, "i know. i'm just...want everything to go perfectly. i mean. they are putting things in you to make you pregnant and i just want you to be okay..." i said nervously.

selena smiled, "sam...i'm going to be okay baby. i promise." i sighed.

the door opened, "you ready mrs. swift?" the doctor asked selena.

she smiled and nodded, "i couldn't be more ready." she squeezed my hand and i smiled.

i kissed her hand and they put her in a wheel chair to wheel her down to the operating room where they'll put everything in her and hopefully she gets pregnant.

i stood behind the glass window and watched.

"you okay?" mom came up behind me.

i looked down as they put selena asleep.

i sighed, "yeah. i think so."

mom smiled and chuckled.

she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"what if i'm not ready mom? what if this works and the baby hates me? what if i'm not a good mother?" i started listing everything i am scared of.

"okay sam. you need to calm down. selena will be fine and so will you. i have seen the way you look at her. you are so in love with her sam and i couldn't be more proud of you. amanda and jeremy adore you. they look up to you and you have had such an impact on those kids in Mali and all over the world. you're going to be a great mom sam."

my eyes teared up, "i don't want to end up like my mom."

i could tell her face was a little hurt by me calling terry mom but she shook it off.

"you won't. i promise you. sam you are an amazing girl. smart, beautiful, funny, sweet and you know how to make anyone smile or feel special. you'll do the same thing to your kids too. i know it. you are so ready to be a mom sam. you have for a while now and i am so proud of you."

she pulled me into her arms and i sobbed into her.

"i'm scared mom. i don't want to grow up. i want to be your little girl again. and now you have mandi and jeremy. you don't need me anymore and i just don't want to leave."

she rubbed my back.

she pulled away and smiled, "oh baby girl. i know. i don't want you grown up either but i need you more than anything. i said i would protect you as long as you never grow up and i love you to death but it's not i don't need you sam. it's you don't need me. look how far you have come. you went from sleeping with a different guy every night, to trying to have your own kid with your wife. do you know how amazing that is? 10 years sam. all of this happened in 10 years samantha rose."

i smiled and nodded, "thanks mom...i love you so much."

"i love you too sammy."

i turned my head and looked at selena.

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