"If you were to leave, fulfill someone else's dreams, I think I might totally be lost"
I was shaking from anger. I fucking hated this life. I fucking hated being used by people and having them leave me. She didn't give a fuck about me, that was pretty obvious. I was due to meet the team at the studio in half an hour. I had commitments but I just wanted to hide away forever. I forced myself into a hot shower, washing away the last of the dried blood from my face. I got out and dried my hair, barely mustering the strength to pull my tight jeans up my legs. The last person I wanted to see was Liam. I don't know why I was blaming him for this. But it was the only reason I could find to justify my anger. I heard the car horn beep from outside as I grabbed my phone and wallet. The drive to the studio just made me angrier, I completely ignored the fans waiting outside as I pushed open the door. I walked down to our booth, seeing the other three boys sitting at a table in the corner, waiting for the technician to set everything up. I swung the door open, letting it hit the wall as everyone jumped at the sound.
"Are you fucking happy? You gave her what she wanted. She was just like all the rest of them, dirty sluts who don't care about anything except fame." I glared at Liam. Niall and Louis sharing a confused look.
"What are you talking about..?" Liam said, standing slowly from the table.
"Don't play dumb. She used me to get to you, and you let her get into our world."
"Mate, what has gotten into you?" His voice was still calm as he approached me, "You were in trouble and she helped you. She spent all night meeting people and listening to them talk about how great you are.."
"Yeah and then she went home with you."
"You went home with Nadine!" He yelled, throwing his hands above his head.
"Was she good? Did she make you feel good? Bet you didn't even notice she was doing it for fame. You're a fucking man whore." I spat back at him. His eyes narrowed at me, it was rare that Liam got mad. He laughed bitterly at me.
"I haven't fucked half the girls that you have, and yeah, she was awesome.." He stepped closer to me so we were face to face "She made me cum harder than I ever have, and to be honest she was the best root I've ever had. I fucked her hard and made her scream my name. Have any of your sluts ever made you feel like that? I bet not."
"You're fucked in the head.." I said, clenching my fists.
"Yeah well, at least I'm not a fucking coke addict." He hissed. That was it. I swung my arm back, ready to punch him in the face before I was pushed aside by Louis. He held my arms down and placed his hand on my chest.
"Stop it. You're being fucking ridiculous. Walk away. Just go, out the door. Come on." He pushed me backwards, my eyes still trained on Liam as Niall stood in front of him, trying to calm him down. Louis lead me to a closed alley out the back of the studio and made me sit down.
"What the fuck was that Haz? Liam didn't do anything and you know that full well. You barely even know this girl and yet you're acting like she's your fucking wife." I didn't look at him. I hated myself. I knew it wasn't Liam's fault, and nothing I said was true. But I couldn't help it. He sat down next to me and lit a cigarette, offering me one. I shook my head and he scoffed,
"What, you can snort cocaine but you can't have a smoke? Just do it, it'll calm you down."
I rolled my eyes and took one from him, letting him light it as I breathed it in. We sat in silence for a while before he spoke again;
"You're delusional if you think Liam would ever do anything to hurt you. I don't know about her, but you can't let her come between what the four of us have.. Especially after what's happened these past couple of months.."
I knew he was talking about Zayn. It had broken all of us when he left, and we all vowed we would stick together through thick and thin. I didn't respond to him.
"Just go home," he continued, "We don't need you here if you're gonna be like this. I'll cover for you. Just go and get some rest and sort yourself out." His words were harsh but his voice was calm and I knew he just wanted to help. I nodded at him and he flicked his cigarette onto the ground. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a small smile before he headed back inside. I sat alone for a couple of minutes before I made my way back to the car parked outside. Again I didn't stop for the fans, I knew I was hurting them but I just needed to get home.
I didn't leave the house for days, and I didn't hear from her. I was going crazy. What was it about her that had me so wound up? I had ignored calls and texts from all the boys, from our management and everyone else. I didn't want to speak to anyone. Sitting alone on the couch I turned as I heard my phone vibrate; 'Mum' popping up on the screen. I hesitated for a moment before I clicked answer.
"Hey Mum." I said weakly, it was basically the first time I'd spoken in about four days.
"Hi baby. You alright?" Her calm voice soothing me, and then I broke down. I told her everything, she listened intensely. I told her all about that night Izi found me, about the fight with Liam and everything in between.
"Shhh.." she cooed quietly as i sobbed to her,
"Go and make things right with Liam and then with her. You know I didn't raise you to be like this." She was right. I had never ever acted like this towards anyone before. She was always right. She had to go out to meet Gemma, but she warned me to do as she said. She just wanted me to be happy, even though she was disappointed she told me how incredible I was and how much she loved me.
"I love you, I'll see you soon." I said, as I clicked the 'hang up' button.
I sat for a while, contemplating what she'd said. I knew I had to go and apologize to Liam. But I was so stubborn, I hated apologizing, even when I knew I had to. I groaned to myself before swiping my keys off the table and plodding out to my car.
I was anxious for the entire drive to Liam's, by the time I got there my hands were shaking so much I could barely ring his doorbell. He answered the door quickly, his smile fading slightly as he saw me.
"Hey.." I said. He nodded at me, crossing his arms over his chest. I sighed and threw away my pride.
"I'm sorry," I choked to him, his expression softened slightly, "I was wrong to accuse you of anything. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. I'm sorry, I fucked up. I can't lose you and the boys, I won't." I hung my head as I waited for his reply;
"You'll never lose us," he spoke softly "but you can't act like that. You need help. You know we're all here to help you through anything. The fame takes it's toll on the rest of us just as much as it does on you." He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. Fuck, he was the most amazing guy. I can't believe he forgave me after the way I treated him. I relaxed into his body, my chin resting on his shoulder as he patted my back. I pulled away from him and he leaned against the door frame.
"She thinks the world of you, you know?" he spoke softly, moving his head to meet my eye. "I've only met her once and I can tell. It's obvious you've got a thing for her mate, whether she likes you in that way or not she's someone you need in your life. She's the reason you still have your life."
"I'm going to see her now.." I admitted to him "I don't think she'll want to speak to me after the way I treated her."
"Worth a shot." he replied.
"Alright, I'm going. Again man, I'm so sorry for treating you that way.
"Don't stress it man," He said as he pushed me out the door, "Love you."
"Love you too" I called as I made my way back down his driveway and into my car. I was more nervous driving to Izi's than I had been driving to Liam's. I pulled up out the front and made my way up the front steps. I lifted my arm to knock on her front door before it opened, revealing her standing there in black leggings and a baggy white jumper with nike's on. I noticed she was holding a suitcase behind her. I looked into her eyes,
"Where are you going?" I asked her cautiously.
"Home." She replied.
YOU ARE READING
Drunk; A Harry Styles Fan FictionFanfiction
"Who are you?" "I'm Izi." "Why are you here?" "Because. Do you need help?" "I don't need anyone's fucking help." ~~ WARNING: Strong language, sex, drug use. NSFW, MA15+