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P4 - Chapter Thirty-nine

"And I brought blankets!" Kinkajou exclaimed. "We can watch a movie in here and snuggle up together. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"It's three against two," Winter said, "so no."

"I'm down," Qibli offered.

"Then so am I," I said with a shrug. "I agree. It would be f–" I was cut off as Turtle yelped, taking a step back. I looked to see what startled him and awed when I did.

"Bandit!" Kinkajou said happily, scooping him up in her arms. He barked, thwacking his tail into Kinkajou's chin as she giggled.

"Ah, Winter's dog, right?" I asked.

"Why did he attack me?" Turtle demanded.

"You're holding Daisy," Qibli pointed out, nodding as he sat down on Winter's couch and leaned back.

"Oh." Turtle squinted his eyes at Bandit as he gave him innocent puppy eyes that could fool anyone. "Fine, have her, but I still don't like you." Turtle opened his arms and let Daisy leap to the floor, and Kinkajou did so with Bandit as well. The two dogs leaped at each other, barking and play-fighting.

"I think Bandit just made a best friend," I mused as I took a step back so they wouldn't run into me. I walked over and sat next to Qibli, and he draped a protective arm over my shoulders.

"Movie!" Kinkajou said, clapping her hands together. She started digging through her bag and taking out heaps of blankets.

I turned to Winter. "Do you just live here alone?"

He lifted his gaze to eye me for a moment. "No. My parents are out for the week on some business trip they told me nothing about. And they took Icicle with them."

"Icicle?" I echoed.

"My sister," Winter said, nodding.

My heart sank.

Does he know what she'd done? Qibli and I exchanged a glance that Winter didn't seem to notice. Qibli never told me Icicle was Winter's sister.

He was trying to protect him, I realized, pulling my gaze from Qibli's and Winter's.

"What are you guys thinking?" Kinkajou asked as she tossed Qibli and me a blanket. "Romance, horror, adventure?"

"*"

"That was so stupid," I huffed grumpily. "And you guys wonder why I hate love stories. They're all cliché and lack reason. Like, just because the world is ending and a singular person needs to sacrifice themselves, it doesn't mean you specifically should. Sure, it's selfless, but you're breaking someone's heart in the process."

"It's romantic," Kinkajou disagreed as she leaned back into Turtle with a sigh.

"I agree with Moon," Winter shrugged, his legs kicked up onto his desk since Kinkajou and Turtle stole his bed. "It's stupid."

"Would you let Turtle sacrifice himself?" I asked Kinkajou. "Since you think it's so romantic?"

"Well, obviously not," Kinkajou scoffed. "But when it's for a different couple, then yes. It's romantic." Qibli hummed in amusement.

"I think... there was a different solution than a human sacrifice," Turtle murmured thoughtfully. "Like, he could have made reason, right? Since he found a way to rewind time, maybe just go back in time and not piss off the queen, for instance. Then he wouldn't have been stuck in a time loop, ergo, he wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself."

"Right?" I cried. "Stupid Love stories. They make it so complex when it's really just about logic."

"You know what I think?" Qibli interrupted. "I think that it's getting late and that you guys should stop arguing about something that will never happen. But that's just a suggestion."

I squinted my eyes at him. "Okay, but at least tell me if you think it was romantic or stupid."

Qibli searched my face for a moment, contemplating an answer. "I think it was both," he finally responded. "People do stupid things when they're in love, right? As Turtle said, he could've gone back in time and not piss off the queen, but if he did that, the prince wouldn't have met his princess, and they never would have fallen for each other. No one else was willing to sacrifice themselves, and the prince would rather die for his princess than go back in time and never meet her. You have to think about it from different angles, y'know?"

That stopped all of us for a second as I took a moment to comprehend what he said.

He's right, I thought, impressed.

"I think we should go to bed," Winter muttered, rolling his eyes.

Then I thought back to what Qibli first said.

People do crazy things when they're in love.

Is that why he fought Fjord for me?

Does... does he love me?

"*"

I held my breath as the man slid the necklace across the counter and into my hands.

Mother.

The diamond in the necklace was made from her ashes—something so precious that I was afraid to touch it without permanently damaging it.

The diamond embedded into the center of the heart was the main attraction, and everything else complimented it.

"Need help putting it on?" Morrowseer gently asked as he stood behind me. Qibli and the rest of the group respectfully stood back, watching with no words.

I slowly nodded, and Morrowseer lifted the necklace from my palm and up to my neck. I used a hand to lift my hair until the necklace hung comfortably from my neck.

It felt heavier than it actually was, and I almost started crying just from looking at it.

The rest of the ashes were going to be spread at the beach, which was our next destination.

After standing there for a long moment, I turned around and nodded at the others, beckoning to the car. They got the message and led the way out.

It felt a little easier to breathe.

"*"

It was cold to be at the beach, and the ocean was even colder. I held the jar tightly in my hands and stepped closer to the water until it wet the front of my shoes a little.

I lifted the jar to Morrowseer and let him open it. We weren't religious, so we didn't pray, but we did take a moment of silence to honor and commemorate her. Secretkeeper would want me to move on. She'd want me to be happy, so I had to start here.

I tipped the jar and poured it side to side into the ocean, and I watched it drift away into the sea. It was like setting her spirit free instead of encasing her in a jar for eternity.

I have to let her go. I have to.

I lifted my hand to my lips as I let out a sob. In an instant, I felt arms embracing me tightly, helping me to feel calmer and less lonely.

Goodbye, Mother.

"*"

In loving memory of Grammy, who will forever be in my heart.

<3