Lupus Deus (Published on Amazon)

(C19)

Zaliver Azrala

I rubbed at my eyes, not caring about how the small amount of sleep I had was making me more and more dangerous for others to be around with my slight shift of control. It's not like I wouldn't be able to heal anything I tore apart...except maybe death.

Having my mind split into so many different tasks while functioning on little food, sleep and a mate for comfort was suddenly taking its toll on me. I wasn't one to struggle with mental tasks, but mind linking different members, going through their minds for anything that stuck out, keeping track on lose rogues around the world, listening in on alpha conversations, having wolves use my excessive energy for missions, sending out directions at every direction and dealing with heightened senses, not to mention having my own thoughts to deal with as well as struggling not to use the only link I really wanted to use was a struggle to the max.

It didn't help that I was overworking to catch the little snitch in the pack, who was unfortunately good at being both discrete and slick with their ways, it had been a pain getting information day by day instead of on the spot like inns usually had be it. The faster I solved this, the faster Vivian could come back.

Ever since Vivian left- or to correctly say- I made her leave forcefully, four days ago, you could say I wasn't the safest person to be around. Before her I worked on no sleep, no drugs in my system to keep my beast a bay from ripping everyone apart out of suspicion, hadn't almost ripped my best friends ex-ish-mates head off with my teeth for being so damn uninformative besides the vague warnings here and there and most definitely didn't sit for an hour with her pillow in my arms like some fool.

Alright so maybe I did.

But I couldn't help it, it missed her sweet and strangely puzzling scent which left me wanting more, the way her short brown silky locks always covered her face, making me push it back. I missed the way her eyes would light up at the simplest of things and yet when she explained always had a way of making them seem truly profound. I craved to hold her soft and curvy body to my toned one, to see her walking around with the cutest of outfits covering what was so beautiful underneath them. To hear her strong melodic voice drift through the room, catching everyone's attention.

I guess this was my punishment for my stupidity.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, staring out of the window, waiting to hear back from Albericus about the little rat in the pack. I pushed my hair back roughly with my hand as it agitated me even more, I closed my eyes for a moment and took and breath, willing myself not to move from my spot.

After Aurora's vague description and some digging around of my own, I had to do more than just force myself not to tear every single member of my pack apart. Apparently, while I've been with Vivian someone took advantage and managed to get information out to someone of her, a sellout, in my own pack. I think if I wasn't so angry I'd be more disappointed, disappointed in the member who I had selectively picked to live in a society of trust and loyalty and disappointed in myself for not paying closer attention and letting this slip.

While I don't regret spending time with Vivian, I do regret not making sure the island was safe for her. Bringing her here I was more worried about everyone, myself included, being safe from her and not the other way around. It was a rookie move.

One I haven't made in a very, very, very long time and one I was paying for now as a consequence. I had a few suspects, by that I meant to many. My usually calculating mind wasn't working and I hated to admit what the problem was.