A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

45

Her smile warms up my heart. "Once we have this baby, maybe we can even spend our lives outside the walls. We can even build a house out there!"

"Is that where you want us to get married?"

"That's such a great idea!"

I let out a slight chuckle. "I'm still baffled as to why you are so keen to the outside."

"Oh, Levi. The outside world is vast." Her eyes sparkle with excitement, which I find very cute. "Adventuring outside is way more fun than in the walls. Just telling you will spoil the fun. You just have to wait and see."

"Fine, I'll be patient then." Despite her sickness, she suddenly has this burst of energy when talking about such things. At this point, I will do anything to keep her this way if it means to see the outside together.

⚔︎

Two Weeks Later

Days go by as I take care of Sina and since I need to return to the military soon, I hire a nurse to watch over her on my behalf.

When Sina grew sicker, my heart grew heavier as well. According to the local doctor, she indeed caught the disease and it is best for her to stay indoors. The doctor suggests me to limit physical contact with her, which angers me to the core. The nurse assigned to Sina is named Eden and she actively takes care of her. Of course, she allows me in the house, but I can only watch Sina suffer. Every time I see Sina, I desperately want to take that pain away inside of her and make it my own. If only it was that easy, she will no longer suffer.

Ever since Sina started her medications, she has been coughing less and seems relaxed... until one winter evening. I return to the house with some firewood to find Sina sitting outside the house in the middle of the snow without a coat on. Nurse Eden is kneeling beside her, begging Sina to get inside and I drop the firewood to sprint over, gripping her bare shoulders. "What the hell are you doing out here? You're going to freeze to death including our baby!"

"Levi... you're home." Sina stares straight ahead, seemingly caught in a trance. The skin on her arms and legs are pale. Her eyes are dull as they are sluggish and she slowly focused on mine.

"I picked some berries for you..." Sina whispers with a weak smile; her lips chapped due to the harsh cold and I gaze down at her pink hands. Nurse Eden and I turn white, because all she is holding is a handful of snow.

"Sina..." My voice cracks as we witness Sina losing her sanity; more like herself. When we watch her take a bite from the snow, tears start to build up in my eyes. I feel so hopeless.

"Miss Sina!" Nurse Eden panics when Sina coughs out blood into the snow and Sina falls into my chest when her body loses all strength. That's when I quickly carry her into the house with Nurse Eden. To hell with the consequences. I would rather get sick with Sina than watch her suffer alone.

After cleaning and putting Sina to bed, she falls silent. But for her breathing, it grows deeper. Nurse Eden thinks the medication is causing Sina to have hallucinations, so she plans to contact the doctor the next day to prescribe her a different medication.

When Nurse Eden and I step out of the bedroom, we walk to the living room with our head hanging low. Then, I speak up. "Tell me. How bad is it?"

Nurse Eden's eyes widen at my question, because she can tell I am desperate. Desperate to hear the truth when I already know it. My dark eyes warn her not to lie, so she gulps. "Her health is... not improving."

Though I find it difficult to let everything sink in, I continue to cling onto hope. "Were there people that survived this disease?"

"From the cases I've seen, there weren't many positive outcomes. Some were worst cases." Nurse Eden implies, which struck me hard. It hurts so much that I eagerly want to destroy everything in sight. Some scenarios are beyond a person's control.

Then I ask depressingly. "What about the baby?"

Nurse Eden is visibly hurt at my expression and her mouth hangs open. "The baby will be fine." She reassures. "I will do everything that I can while you are gone."

"I appreciate you." I say lowly. "If anything happens, please write to me."

Another expedition is right around the corner once I return to the Headquarters, and I feel guilty for leaving Sina behind. Knowing her, she understands my job and does not blame me for anything.

The next morning, Nurse Eden and I say a final goodbye before my departure. When I turn, I spot Sina standing behind a cracked door of the bedroom. She covers her mouth, turns around, and shuts the door. I hear her sob against it as she does not want me to see her crying. Watching her silhouette before she closed the door left a sour feeling in my heart.

Slowly, I make my way over to the door to place a hand on it. "Sina..."

I hear her sniffling on the other side and her voice cracks. "Don't worry about me. I'll feel better by the time you come back."

"Listen, Sina." I beg softly. "I'm not sure how long I will be away, but promise me you'll keep waiting?"

"Of course." Sina whispers. "Once you come back, we are going to start a new life together. With our baby."