Chapter 9: Selfish

550 50 15
                                    

"Hey, Alex?" Marco said. I looked up from the book I was reading and gave him my attention. Right now Skylar is in our room napping and Sandy is in therapy. Marco and I are watching TV, well he is. I'm reading a book that I found on the bookshelf.

"Y-yeah?" I asked nervously. I didn't want him to yell at me or anything. . .

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for snapping at you when we first met. I've always had a short temper," he said.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I understand." He looked at me confused and then chuckled.

"I should've know that you can't stay mad at people. Even if they don't deserve your forgiveness," he said and I put my book down.

"Hey, I can stay mad at people! I'm still mad at my brother for what he did to me," I said and he looked at me confused.

"What did your brother do to you?"

"He's the one who called 9-1-1 and got me stuck here. All because I was too weak to stay strong in front me him. . ." I said and bit my lip.

Marco nodded and said, "I can understand why you'd be upset. Just think of it this way though, at least he cares enough to want to keep you safe. My parents just dumped me in here and said I better get myself better or else they won't be back." Marco took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I know I don't know you, but I can tell that you have a lot of potential when it comes to getting better."

"I don't deserve the help their trying to give me. I'm just a selfish brat who needs to learn to not overreact," I said and Marco shook his head.

"Don't say that, man. You're not selfish, the ones who made you into this monster are the selfish ones," he said and I nodded.

"He's wrong. You're the most selfish person ever for doing what you did," The voice said. I bit my lip and sighed.

"You're wrong," I said to Marco.

"Who says?"

"The voices. They're right, they always are," I said and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, I don't know what it's like to hear things that aren't there but I do know that it's not real. You can't listen to something that isn't real. Don't say you're selfish, you're not," Marco said and I faked a smile.

"O-okay," I said and Sandy and his therapist walked out of the therapy room. His face was red from crying and his hands were shaking. He sat down two chairs away from me and put his face in his hands.

"Sandy?" Marco said but Sandy didn't respond. I saw Skylar walk out of our room and he looked at us. His eyes widened when he saw Sandy and he walked over to him. Skylar crouched down next to him and bit his lip.

"Sandy?" Skylar asked and Sandy slowly looked up.

"Y-yeah?" he asked and sniffled.

"Why are you so upset?" Skylar asked. The nurses and BHTs were all talking at the nurses station so they didn't notice us. You would think they'd keep a better watch on us since the majority of us are suicidal.

"I'm so stupid and selfish. There are people out there with bigger problems than me. I have a nice family, a few friends, and I get good grades. Why do I think it's okay to hurt myself when my only problem is the bullying. I'm just a stupid kid," Sandy said and I felt my heart break a little.

"Sandy, you aren't selfish. We all handle our problems differently. Yes, hurting yourself isn't a good coping skill, but you can't compare your problems to others'," Skylar said.

"B-but, there are people with problems that are way worse than mine. Like yours for example."

Skylar sighed and said, " No, comparing our problems is just going to make things worse. You are not selfish. You help people, like Alex for example. You helped him calm down in therapy today."

"Yeah, I don't know where my mind would've gone if it wasn't for you," I said and Sandy smiled a little bit.

"I guess you're right. . ." he said.

"Correction, you know I'm right,"  Skylar said.

"Alright, it's arts and crafts time. Follow me to the crafts room," Sabrina said.

"Okay," we said and followed her. We all sat down at the table and Skylar sat down next to me.

"Alright, guys, my name's Andy. What would you all like to do? You can make bracelets, draw, make dreamcatchers."

"Can I draw?" I asked.

"Of course. Here's the pencils and some paper," he said and handed them to me. I thanked him and the others started making bracelets.

"Woah, Alex, that's amazing," Skylar said, when he looked at my drawing.

"Really? Thanks," I said and blushed. It was a drawing of a bird.

"I wish I could draw like that," Sandy said.

"Did you take lessons?" Marco asked.

"No," I said and they nodded. I could tell Skylar really liked it so I asked," Would you like to have it?"

"What? No, I can't take that. You worked so hard on it."

"Take it, I have others like them at home," I said and he smiled.

"Thanks, Alex," he said and took the drawing. His bright blue eyes were shining and I wanted to stare into them all day. Too bad I can't.

"That was very nice of you, Alex," Andy said. I nodded and started drawing again. After we got done with arts and crafts it was snack time. I sighed when they gave me my chips and Kool-Aid. 

"Do I have to eat this?" I asked.

"Yes, we have to get your weight up," Megan said. I bit my lip and opened the bag of chips. I ate one and then ran into the bathroom. I knew I was going to throw up. I started throwing up and gagging since there was nothing in my stomach.

"Alex, are you okay?!" Sandy asked when I came out.

"Fine, I just need a drink," I said and took a sip of my Kool-Aid.

"Why don't you go lay down for a little bit?" Sabrina said.

"Okay," I mumbled and walked into my room. I laid down on the bed tried falling asleep. 

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jul 06, 2016 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

Our Love Runs On Insanity (Boyxboy)Where stories live. Discover now