(Miguel O'Hara x Reader) MJ or not I still love you

Unresting feelings

       After three months of pleading to see Mayday, I finally got to hold her. I almost died right there and then. She was a split image of her mother. However, she had her fathers spirit.

      "Can I have her?" I ask jokingly as she lays in my arms. Mj and I are the only ones in the kitchen while the others celebrate and eat their burgers.

She chuckles, "I don't think Peter would be very fond of that."

      I watch MJ flip another patty smoothly, the smell makes my stomach grumble. "I don't think so either."

The air is silent between us, almost too silent. Her back is turned from me as she focuses on the remains burgers int he pan.

      "Its nice to hear Miguel is back." I flinch at his name. She continues to watch the burgers with a spatula in her hand. I drop my gaze to Mayday, her soft curls sticking out her head.

      "Yeah." I whisper. It was nice to see him again, but I could never let him know that. He can't just disappear without reaching out. We were worried.

       Mj turns around to face me. Her eyes old comfort in them as they look in mine. "How are you guys doing now?"

      The question catches me off guard. I shift my body to stand comfortably. "Why do you ask?"

"Peter told me you weren't doing so well after Miguel left. He said you were angry an-"

"I am..." Peter was really looking for a death wish. "But it doesn't matter."

      "Mh, that's where you're wrong." She walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're a team, whatever you're feeling matters and it seems you both have somethings to talk about. I say you do it not then later, trust me." She turns her gaze towards Peter who stuffs his face with a second burger. We both chuckle at his dirty face.

       "God he's such a child."

       "Oh, I know."

        We laugh, looking down at Mayday stir in her sleep.

       I don't want to lose Miguel. Hell, I don't even know if I had him in the first place. But, what would I even say? That him leaving without telling me hurt. That treating my like a kid and walking out of my life made me feel like I was nothing to him.

       "Y/n, you should go and take two burgers on the way."

       My heart starts to beat at a rapid speed. Im scared. Scared of saying something wrong or being hurt again. However, digging the fear deep down, I nod.

       MJ packs me two burgers in a Tupperware container and take Mayday from my hands. "Ill see you when I see you."

       "Alright, good luck."

     "What's going on in here?" Peter walks in with an empty plate and confused expression. I give him a joking glare and walk towards him.

"Im leaving to talk too Miguel." A small smile creeps on his face as he pats my back.

"There you go! What's with the change of heart." I roll my eyes and shove him off.

    "You telling MJ about me being broken down about him leaving." He glances at MJ and chuckles nervously.

"Oh did she?" I nod and walk past him.

"Sleep with one eye open tonight, Peter."

The others watch me walk out and wave. "Where are you going?" Pavitr asks.

"Home."

       Once I made it into the spider dimension. I quickly made my way towards Miguels office. Everyone was gone, making the place empty and quiet.

       I could feel my heart ache out of my chest and sweat build up in my palms. Some part of me still want to avoid him forever while the other wants to be by his side. Why can't my emotions be clear?!

      Inside his office is dark, the only light coming from his computers. I walk in farther, searching the area for a large figure. "Hello?" My voice echos around the room.

     He isn't in here, its empty. Could he still be in the conference room?

    A tingle circulates behind me, warning me of a presence. I whip around to make eye contact with Miguel. He froze with his hand stretched out to poke my shoulder. My heart feels like its about to do a full 360 in my chest.

   "Jesus Miguel! Don'g sneak up on me like that!" I clench my chest and inhale. He chuckles before straightening his back. The darkness of the room creates a shadow around his facial features, making it hard to see what he was expressing. 

"Why are you here alone?" His question almost sounds concerning.

"Can I not be here alone?" It's always a war with him. Is it even possible to have a civil conversation. Now, I'm not saying it him who starts the war, I have to give myself some credit.

"See, I find this funny." He points at me, then him.

Giving a puzzled look, I tilt my head. "What's funny."

"Hold on." Miguel walks past me and flips a switch that brightens the room. My eyes remain glued on the light switch I've never the whole time I've been here. Looking back at Miguel, he holds a smirk.

    Now seeing his face bring my confidence down eight notches. "So, what's so funny? The fact you've been gone without a single word?" He crosses his arms and scoffs. "Or the fact you never cared about this team in the first place?"

    "You know, Y/N. I had a reason to leave! What's funny is you needing to know everything I do." He snaps back. It wasn't true, I just wondered why he needed a break from us or why he had the feeling to leave.

"What then, what was it?"

Oh wouldn't you like to know." He chuckles dangerously and walks past me. I follow as he waits for his computer area to level down to him.

"Yes, I would! Is it so damn ha-"

"Why do you care!?" He levels his face with mine, anger and hurt mixing together in his pained eyes. I feel tears build in my eyes. Everything happens for a reason, this is all going to be in the past soon.

      I build up all my courage knowing this could go many ways. The sunken feeling in my chest and burning feeling in my eyes create a challenge to speak. "Be-because I care." He moves back slightly, shifting his expression to shock. "When you left I felt hurt and abandoned. You left without saying goodbye and made me worry you were dead. I waited everyday for you to come back. No matter how angry and confused I was, I still waited. No matter how much I wanted to stop feeling the way I felt for you." My words spill out like a faucet. I avoid his eyes that stare into my skull, too afraid I would burst out in tears. "God, even when we fought I felt close to you." I chuckle sadly. "Every time I look you in your eyes I can't help but feel..."

      The words I would say next could ruin everything. Everything is already hell but confessing could make it permanent. "Feel what?" His words grew soft. Almost, coaxing my trembling body. I hated him yet loved him at the same time. It made me feel a hint of guilt. Not towards Miguel, but towards my Peter. "I can't help but feel, this warm and exciting feeling in my heart. Like my body wants to stay closer to you and never leave."

     He chuckles which worries me. Straightening his back, he covers his face and smiles. "What?" I ask embarrassedly.

     His eyes meet mine. I bet my face is a color of a tomato from the awkward confession. "Are you saying you're in love with me?"

Author notes: IDK what I'm doing anymore:))))))) Im just going with the flow.