31 - Despair

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Trigger warning: failed suicide attempt.

Chapter song: Лети за мной (Leti Za Mnoy) - Maxim Fadeev (PLEASE listen to this song, it just brings the feeling of heartbreak across so well. This song always makes me cry.)

Almost running out of the building, Danila tried to keep up with her.

"Mia! Mia, wait!" He ran after her as he tried to run with his one side immobile. Mia didn't stop and continued quickly walking to the car, snow covering her face.

"Mia, please!" He called after her and stepped in front of her, finally catching up. She tried to sidestep him but he was too big to maneuver from on the slippery snow. "Mia..." He pronounced her name gently.

"What do you want?! Did you enjoy watching it? Did you enjoy watching me die inside?! This is what you wanted isn't it?! Why are you here? I curse the day I ever visited Russia! Fuck this country! Fuck you all! It has brought me nothing but sorrow! Both you and him...are my consistent pain." Mia spoke loudly, trying to push him away.

But Danila forcefully grabbed her wrist and yanked her back to him so she fell into his arms. He saw tears run down her face and didn't say anything but only hugged her tightly. Mia began to sob and Danila held her tightly with his good arm as she melted into him and returned the embrace.

Yes. This is the way it's supposed to be, Danila thought and hid his smile when he looked down at her. She stood hugging him but as fast as her tears started, they ended.

"Hey, can we go to a shooting range?" She asked as if nothing had just happened to her. Danila thought he heard wrong.

"To a shooting range?" He confirmed.

"Yes. I feel like if I don't shoot something, I will shoot myself and I don't think he deserves that. Take me, Danila." She looked at him with a dangerous look on her face. Her smile radiated hurt and pain and not happiness.

Danila wasn't planning to let her out of his sight and walked her to his car.

"Give me your gun." He stretched out his hand once the driver hit the gas. Mia didn't even bother arguing and reached into her purse and passed it to him silently.

No one said anything the entire ride but Danila watched her closely. She seemed extremely angry but there was also something else that felt off about her. Her nostrils flared and she would shake her head every once in a while as she looked out at the snowed in landscape. She was shaking, breathing heavily, she was constantly fidgeting with everything. It's like she couldn't calm down, she couldn't stop moving.

Danila knew these next few days were crucial. She was mightily pissed off but she would also go through periods of denial and depression before she would finally accept it.

Danila brought her to his usual spot, not daring to argue with her current request. She had lessons before and knew what to do but Danila began to explain how to hold a gun but saw her turn to him and smile,

"Thanks. I know what I'm doing."

He saw tears roll down her cheeks as she pointed the gun at a target. She slowly brought the gun down and suddenly doubled over. Danila was extremely alarmed at her behaviour but just as quickly, she got up as a sob left her lips. A second later, she calmed herself down.

Mia pointed the gun again and pressed the trigger. The bullet completely missed the target but before the sound could disappear in the cold air, Mia pressed the trigger again and Danila was taken aback. And then again and again shots rang out until all the bullets were gone.

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