Stray Kids Comfort Collection

1. Chris: Behind Closed Doors

He took a deep breath, lifted me along with his torso. "Just what I said. I hope you're not his type."

I lifted my head from his chest, making sure that my tear stained, red-rimmed, puffy eyes were looking directly into his. "Because I'm a mess?"

He tempered his gaze, unlike the heat radiating off his body and growing warmer the more we talked about this. "No. You're not a mess. You're amazing. But, because... if..." He trailed off, his eyes focused on mine.

I sniffled again. The way he was looking at me was making me nervous. "If what?"

He removed a hand from my back and brought it up to drag through his hair and down his face as if he was stalling and really didn't want to say what he'd been thinking. "This is going to sound bad."

My brows creased in confusion. "What? Why? Just say it."

While I was looking at him in the face, he laid his head back on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling as he said, "Because if you're his type, he's going to have to go through me to get to you."

My eyes widened intensely. "Wait. Chris?" I tapped his chest until he brought his head up to look at me again. "Am I your type?"

Without hesitation, he nodded. "Yes, you are. And so much more too."

My mouth hung agape as I gawked at him. "ME?"

He half-smiled. "Yes."

I drew my hand up and pointed at my face. "Me?"

He rolled his eyes and let out a short, rueful laugh. "Yes, you. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because I'm not anybody's type. That's why I'm in this job. It was easy to sign that contract since I'm really good at being the workaholic older sister type and not in danger of being the love interest. That's how it's always been. 'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride'... That whole thing."

There was a flame of anger that lit behind his eyes. He sat up quickly, bringing me with him. He placed one hand on the top of one of my arms to hold me there, and the other hand lifted up to brush my loose hair strands back behind my ear. My face was inches away from his. He let his thumb slide over my cheeks to dry any stray tears left behind.

"That makes absolutely zero sense to me. I knew you were different the moment I first saw you walk through the doors. I immediately wanted to know more about you, but there are so many moving parts around us that I couldn't risk exposing my curiosity and bringing unwanted attention to you either. So, it's been slow going. I apologize for that."

Immediately, my mind began to wander, bringing up memories of Chris being more inquisitive in the interactions with staff regarding my likes and dislikes, things I enjoy doing on my downtime, my life back in my country, and things like that. I had never really paid attention to it, but now that I thought about it I could see where he looked for and after me a little more than the other female staff. It wasn't obvious, but his longer stares and lingering smiles whenever he would make me laugh were standing out in my mind now. The little thoughtful gifts that would randomly show up in my workspaces were almost always from him. I always thought his behaviors were 100% platonic and friendly because that is who he is.

I drew my bottom lip in between my teeth and began to nervously chew on it. He took his thumb and tugged it down, away from my chewing. His smile was tentative as he just let his words remain suspended between us.

"Is this not wrong?" My voice was hesitant while my mind was struggling to remain focused as his hands were then both rested on my shoulders at the collar of my sweatshirt, his thumbs dancing across the exposed skin with feather light touches. I wasn't about to tell him that my heart had been closed off for so long that I wasn't even sure if I could receive whatever he was wanting to give to me. I didn't want to trauma bond with him either.

He pressed his lips together in a frustrated line before answering me bluntly, "Is it wrong for me to like you? To want to know you? To be here for you in times like today when you need someone to share the burden with you? To want to touch you and make you smile and hear you laugh and make sure you're doing okay?"

"... No, it's not," I sighed, "But, we're both under strict rules."

He let out a throaty noise of annoyance and dropped his hands down to my hips, firmly grasping my thighs, and manhandled me until I was straddling his thighs and my face was again mere inches from his. "That changes nothing for me."

My eyes widened as I shifted my now alert gaze from his eyes to his lips and back again.

"You have no idea how much I have to hold myself back from buying things for you all the time because they make me think of you. Or how, everytime one of the guys sends a funny meme or video in the chat, I want to send it to you to make you laugh. Or how I look for you everytime we're at the JYP building or at events. Or how it's been driving me mad to be on this tour with you and not be able to spend all the time I want with you. You're on my mind so much."

This was all so overwhelming and I had no idea what to say.

"And today? Once I realized why you were missing, I was damn near worthless until I could get here and touch you and make sure you were okay. Lee Know almost punched me when I told him I was coming to check on you." His hands snaked around to my lower back, gently dragging me closer until our chests were touching.

My breath hitched. "He knows? About what you just told me?"

A slow nod. "He's too observant to keep things from."

"Ah..." The word faded into the room as I got lost in the seriousness of his eyes.

"Do you have anything to say about anything I've said? Anything to say to me?" There was a flash of vulnerability in his eyes. "Say something, please."

"This scares me, very much." I took a deep breath, tears welling up in my eyes. "But, you don't." A couple tears spilled over the edge. "I'm honored that you feel this way about me. No one has ever cared like this for me before, so I'm sorry if my reaction is reserved. I'm waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me and for you to say that it was all just a distraction, a joke, to make me feel better today."

He made a disgusted face and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks once more. "No, never. Especially to you." With full resolve, he pulled my hips toward him again until I was seated as close as I physically could be, our torsos absolutely flush against each other. He brought his arms up to wrap around my back and hold me tightly against him. "I want to make you happy, not confuse or hurt you."

"Really?" It was getting hard to breathe. The more he talked, the more my heart softened and warmed and began to believe. I felt completely safe right then, there in his arms and in this quiet space with just the two of us.

He nodded, leaning his forehead against mine as he said, "Yes. Really."

I pulled my face away from his just far enough to look at the digital clock on the nightstand. I knew his schedule and that he would have to leave for the venue in a little while. Looking back at his face, I gave him a soft smile and tenderly covered his lips with mine, showing him how I felt rather than telling him. His eyes slid closed as he met me with the same tender, slow affection. I could feel him smiling into the kiss. I was surprised by how that made me feel, and by the reaction of my thighs drawing together and squeezing him beneath me.

"Mm," He hummed against my mouth. "Slow down there, beautiful." He chuckled lightly and hugged me tighter. "We've got all the time in the world. There's no rush."

I blushed and laughed to myself. "Okay."

"So..." He asked, "does this mean you like me too?"

I looked up and directly into the quiet, joy-filled depths of his eyes. I couldn't help but smile back into them. "Yes. Yes, Chris. You are very much so my type."

"Good." His responding smile took up his whole face. "Good."

He closed the gap between us once more, enveloping my lips with his and making me forget that I had ever cried today. I would remember today's date for a whole new reason from now on. And it was all because of him. I held onto him closely, and I vowed to myself to never let him go.