Kim Kardashian: #BreakTheGame (COMPLETE)

Chapter 20: Miami Regalia

All at once a wave of emotions surged through Kim as she recognized the dog. "CALUM WOOF OH MY GOODNESS MY DOGGIE I MISSED YOU SO MUUUUUCH!!!"

Calum barked an ecstatic hello and then launched himself at her again, putting his paws up on her chest and frantically trying to lick her face. She grabbed him and pulled him in close and held him tight, hugging his squirmy little body, burying her face in his fur as money and lightning bolts rocketed in every direction. "Hi Calum! Hi! How's my doggie? How's my guy? Did you miss me? Mommy missed you so much! Yes she did!"

Calum Woof was so beyond excited to see Kim he barely knew what to do with himself. He squirmed out of her arms, then he jumped up, pawing frantically at her arms and legs, then he ran away and started galloping around the room is small spazzy circles, then he ran back, careening into her, practically doing flips around her hands while she tried to pet him.

"What are you doing here Calum? Were you sleeping? Who's been taking care of you?"

But Calum had no answer, he was just really freaking excited. Their initial greetings and hellos taken care of, Calum stood back and bowed playfully and barked, indicating that he wanted to play.

Kim got onto her hands and knees and growled at Calum, who growled back, barked, then rolled over and bared his belly, demanding payment for the overdue backlog of pets and tummy rubs.

After a vigorous tummy-rubbing session and more snuggling, they played fetch with a ball, except Calum kept getting distracted and forgetting to return the ball. Kim and Calum Woof played and snuggled and wrestled around on the floor for who knows who long, but she was definitely very distracted and surprised when she suddenly realized there was someone else in the condo, walking through the room carrying a huge bundle of dry cleaning.

"OK sorry to interrupt your busy day but if you can spare me a few minutes out of your schedule I think I have your outfits for the rest of the week," the man said in a high sing-songy voice. "And thank you for rolling around on the floor like that and creating more work for me, whatever would I do without continual trips to the cleaners for you? How ever would I manage to fill the time?"

Kim froze and looked up at the man. She definitely did not know who this was in her condo. He was a tall and very large black man, and he wore crisply-pressed trousers with a loud geometric print, leather loafers with no socks, a v-neck t-shirt, and a blazer with a completely different loud geometric print. But somehow it all completely worked.

"Umm," Kim said.

The man froze mid-stride, then turned and glared down at her from over his pile of clothes. When his eyes met Kim's he shrieked and the clothes went flying everywhere.

"You're not Willow," he said, when everything had settled.

"Umm, no."

The man looked Kim up and down. "Well," he said, "Are you determined to use that Hermès to mop dust off the floor all day or are you going to get up and help me straighten this mess?" He set to work picking up the clothes.

Kim nervously looked from the door to the man as she climbed to her feet.

"Come on princess, don't just stand there," he said. "Chop chop, clothes off the floor and back into orderly piles, move it, I'm on a schedule."

"Um I don't think you can order me around, I'm--"

"Kim of House Kardashian," he said, in a fake exalted voice. "Most Magical Ass in Three Counties," he said giving a dismissive look in the direction of her butt. "The Hottest Whatever That Ever Whatevered. Yes honey, queen recognize queen, now pick up these clothes you made me drop and help me get them sorted, LEGGO." He turned and headed into the bedroom, the words "Willow talks about you alllll the time," trailing after him.