Part 19 [ll]

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Part 2 of Chapter 19

“I feel so horrible right now” I said numbly as I stared blankly after Derek’s car from the parking lot.

Sensing my obvious guilt, Mady spoke up after a sigh “Do you like him?”

Caught off guard by her question, I took a gulp before saying, “Uh, I guess…”

“I mean, Like him, like him” She explained impatiently

I thought about it for a minute. Derek was a great guy, I could admit that much. But, did I really like him? I mean, he did make me feel happy a lot and yes, I feel great whenever I’m around him…..but-

I knew the answer way before my mind could even process it because my heart knew all along. Stupid heart.

I took a deep sigh and wrapped my arms around myself before answering “No, I don’t know why….but I just don’t feel that way about him”

“But you do about Jay, don’t you?” I turned to glance at her and saw a hint of a smile playing at her lips.

I closed my eyes before whispering,

“Yes”

“What was that?”

“Yes!” I said a bit louder

“Yes what?” She tilted her head to the side. I knew she was just teasing me, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I actually liked how it sounded coming out of my mouth, I would’ve told her to shut up. But I didn’t.

“Yes, I do like Jay” I emphasized every word.

“You do?”

“Yes. How many times do I ha-“It took me a second to realize that it wasn’t Mady who had asked the last question.  I tried opening my eyes slowly, wishing that it was someone else other than I had in mind to appear in front of me.

“You know, it could’ve saved everyone a whole lot of trouble if you had realized that a long time ago” Jay said as soon as I opened my eyes completely.

“Uhhh….” I tried to say something, but nothing came up.

He chuckled lightly before regaining his serious facial expression and stepping closer to me.

“Is it true?” He said, lifting my chin up so I could look at him directly.

“What’s true?” I said dumbly.

He smirked “Don’t play dumb with me Kaycee” He leaned in closer and huskily whispered in my ear, “Do you like me?” The way his breath tickled my neck sent chills down my spine that I couldn’t control the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and just kiss him senseless.

“Yes” I whispered gently. There was no use denying it now.

Just as the word left my mouth, he started to lean in closer, trying to close the small distance between us. But our lips were just 4 inches away from each other when I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away gently, making him stumble a bit.

“Wha-“ He was just about to say before I cut him off.

“I’m sorry Jay but I can’t do this to Derek” I told him, avoiding eye contact.

He was silent for a few minutes, which actually felt like forever, before I heard him sigh.

“I understand” He told me with a pained expression on his face “-Just…..just tell me when you’re ready alright?” he asked with a hopeful expression.  I didn’t know what else to say so I just nodded and watched as he slowly walked away.

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