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Dantes' Journal 10-1-2006

In the beginning we fought for the planet. A living, breathing mass that slowly began to give life over the centuries. It gave its energy so that the creatures upon it would have life. When these creatures became old or died, they in turn gave this energy back to the planet itself.

I was once one of them, fighting on the side of good against those that would enslave the planet and the creatures living upon it. As time went on, and mankind evolved, we became known as angels and those against us the demons. Some of mankind too evolved. They learned to wield the energy that we ourselves control naturally. Some were crucified and died because of this knowledge, while others hid in fear. These humans too have been called by many names throughout time. They are the psychics, telepaths, and witches that walk among us along with others unknown. 

The humans too took sides, much like ourselves, but they were our hope. We believed that mankind could rise above, that their love had no limits if only they would open themselves to it. We had hope.

The wars have been never ending, another starting as one would finish. At the end of each good always always won. Things change...people change. I wish I had seen it earlier. They had warned me to stay away from her. They warned me of the dangers of falling in love with a human, much less one gifted with magic such as she. Part of me wishes I had heeded their warnings...and the other part is grateful for the awakening I encountered. She was no different than the rest of mankind. Corruptible, dishonest...selfish. 

She showed me mankind’s selfishness. If someone such as herself was able to succumb so easily to such things then why would I believe anyone else to be much different. Why would I believe mankind would be any different. She pierced that illusion, taught me not to be as naive as I had been. She showed me what mankind was truly capable of and opened my eyes to seeing the others for who they were. The humans, they were not much different from the demons themselves no matter how much we wanted to believe otherwise.  

It’s been over three hundred years since I last saw her, since she disappeared without a word. Three hundred years of tortured dreams and being haunted by her image, of not knowing if she’d return. Yet, I sensed her energy and knew she was safe. It was life time after life time of not knowing and wondering why she left. In her version of love I wasn’t even worthy of a goodbye. If that was what the humans considered love, what were we fighting for?

I’ve learned that it no longer matters. The idea of good and evil, the idea of hope and love, that we could care for someone more than we care of our own selfish needs is merely a fantasy. I would rather live in the reality of how things are than allow the whimsical idea of love to rip at my heart and soul again. I no longer care who lives or dies. I am not an angel nor a demon, but merely the one who realizes there’s no difference between the two. I’m stuck between their worlds, walking among mankind and constantly haunted by her ghost. There’s no where to turn and only one thought that constantly runs through my mind. Believe in no one, and fight for no one. For mankind, like love, should never be trusted. She taught me that...and yet my heart battles what I’ve learned.

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