Mess it up

Chapter 2

I'll say whatever you want, but I've become such a liar
I used to follow my gut, but now I'm just gettin' higher
It's been a couple of months since I turned to something violent
I should be happier now, so why do I feel this quiet? - Gracie abrams ( Block me out)

I walked back to my class
I didn't turn to talk with jake after he told me , that Roy had his reason then…..I walked away
" Lily, We looked for you everywhere , Where were you ? " Hannah asked me as I entered the class,  I told them what happened
" Jake really have the nerves to say that " Eva commented
" Yeah , I agree , what are you going to do then lily?" Hannah asked me
What do I want to do ?
What do I want to do now?
"....Study Math "
" What?" Hannah replied confused
" We took Math today,  I need to go back home and study it "
I genuinely,  wanted to study Math, It is my escapism
" You don't care about Roy do you ? " Hannah asked me this question
It was the first time she asked me that
" No , I care , I really did love him "
I lied
" You are lying through your teeth like we don't know you lily"
Hannah and Eve knew better than anyone,  I never told them , but they got it after all What happened in the past years.
" Lily , remember Justin !" Hannah shouted at me
" Justin….he is a nice boy " I replied hiding behind Eve , scared from Hannah
" Nice boy!! He was and still is the most popular boy in school , and he was interested in you ! What did you do ?"
" Nothing!!!!" I replied
" That's the problem,  the boy didn't care about our gender until you appeared in front of him, and you ignored his existence more after you know he had a crush on you "
Justin is really a nice boy , not really,  he was the type of rude you get attracted to , curly black hair and white skin and tall , wearing all black everyday.....he was a cool guy
" Forget Justin , let's say he wasn't your type , Matthew "
" oh…" I replied to Hannah nagging
" Remember! The boy has had about 15 girlfriends and all of them approached him first....he hit on you countless times in front of the whole class and in private and what did you do !!!?" Hannah shouting made the whole class look at us
" Was polite and Stayed away from him "  I replied in a quiet voice
" I had a crush on him and you swept him over his feet by just being with him in the same project " Eve said that as she pushed me and stood next to Hannah
" You are turning on me now!"
" No lily, we love you but it's just getting frustrating. When are you going to love someone? "
They were right , When am I going to love someone? But I know that I'm unable to love someone…..I can't love someone if he doesn't meet my standards….I can't love someone if he wasn't beneficial and compatible
And if I really need him to be beneficial and compatible…..is that even called love
" Why would I date someone who has no future And no dreams !" I told them
" Because you aren't marrying him tomorrow "
Eve told me
" Then why am i dating him , if I date someone then I believe that I'm going to marry him in the future , why would I waste my time on someone if am not planning to marry him"
" Because that's what's teen love is about " Hannah said that
" Then I don't want it , I want someone who is smart and have dreams and a future planned ahead of him " I said that
" Okay okay , let me just remind you about someone , Steven Hemsworth " Hannah said that
" How do you remember them all ? " I asked her.
" These 4 aren't all , As I remember your victims are 11"
Hannah and her good memory
" 11 in just 4 years Lily !"
" How did you keep counting? , I don't even remember them "
" To bully you later about the many chances you let go off , the boy had the biggest crush on you , he is handsome,  blonde , honey green eyes and smart and wants to become an architect. What was his problem?"
Steven is a perfect husband material
But he had one problem
That I cared for him,  genuinely as a friend
I couldn't use him and tell tell him that I loved him just because he was good one to get married to
" Let me tell you lily,  You felt too guilty to use such a nice boy , whose love for you was pure. And your love for him didn't even exist "
" I don't get you Hannah, then should I have just dated him for what he has ?"
" No lily,  you should try to actually love people and stop being selfish "
Me and Hannah didn't blame each other for things we do often
But She is right
Nevertheless loving only brought people behind
I can care for people
I don't need to love
" Hannah, Stop , I know I'm selfish "
" Then try to change yourself Lily , are you just going to do bad things and say oh sorry I'm selfish "
" What bad things am I doing ? They were the one at fault for liking me "
" Lily , This conversation isn't going anywhere, let's stop " Hannah said that as she sat down on her seat and i went to sit on my seat that was in front of hers
" Then are we just going to leave her like that ? " Eve said that as she sat on her seat that was next to Hannah and behind Steven that wasn't here in the classroom now
" I'm sure at least one of the boys she ignored or horribly rejected cursed her that one day she would let go of all of her plans and standards and fall helplessly in love with someone who isn't compatible nor beneficial " Hannah said that
" What!? That's too cruel " I replied
" Too cruel , lily remember the boy you stood up last year just because his grades in English weren't good enough " Hannah said that
" He was the fool for thinking I liked him "
" See that's why you are gonna get cursed for sure "  Eve said that
Letting go of my plans
And dreams
I can't give up on having the perfect guy
I'm sure that I won't choose love over the perfect one
I can't even feel it in the first place
The other class started with our art teacher entering
The school day ended
I was existing the school gate
Fall is already leaving
You can feel it in the air that winter is already coming soon
I want to go to my house fast but my mom told me to not go in this road when I'm alone
I walked through it with Eve once
There were no lights so it was dark
And there wasn't a single soul in it
I'm not with anyone now
But I really don't want to wall the long road
What is going to happen anyway let's just take it
Walking for about 3 minutes now
My mother wasn't that right
I'm totally fine
And I only have 5 minutes left and I will arrive to my house
If I took the other way I would have walked for 30 minutes
My thoughts were cut by a sound
I hear a muffled sound
Is it a cat or a dog ?
What if it is a wounded cat ?
I walked towards the voice
I stopped walking when I saw a wounded boy laying on the Street of the quiet road
He….is the weird boy from before
He is bleeding!
I ran too him
" Are you okay ? Is that a knife wound! ?" I tried to take a look at the wound , it's clearly a knife wound , oh , no don't panic  , call the ambulance
" Don't worry I will call the ambulance "
I tried to pull out my phone but he held my hand
" Don't "
" What do you mean don't? You will die from blood loss ! And I'm sure you are already dying from the pain, we need the ambulance!!!"
I tried to be calm but I'm really panicking right now , this guy is dying and I'm helpless
" It's okay " He said that as he patted me on my shoulder
" Are you trying to suicide or something? I'm calling the ambulance!"
" No lily don't! " He told me and coughed
"...You know , Then wait"
I left him and started running back to school
It took me about 30 sec to run back to school
If I get caught , I will be suspended and lose all my reputation,  what am I going to do then!
I entered the nurse room
For my good luck she wasn't in there
Like always
I stole some bandage and alcohol and cleaning substance and stitching scissors and a stich
And ran back to where I left him
Please don't be dead
Please don't be dead
No
No
I went back to him
His eyes were closed
" Nooooo , yaaaaa"
" What is it your voice is too loud ?!" He opened his blue coloured eyes
" Oh , I was too scared that you might be dead "
" Why do you care ? " He asked me as he took a look at what I brought back
" Because I'm going to be a doctor and I don't want my first patient to die , Now shut up and wait "
I will try to remember what I learned from all the courses I took
I took off his shirt
And cleansed his wound with alcohol
" Ahhhhh" He shouted
" Sorry Sorry , Please just bear with it , hold my hair if you want "
He pulled my hair , it must have really stinged
After I cleanse the wound
I prepare the stitch
" Hey , Can't we just call the ambulance? " I asked him , I'm really not that skilled
" No "
" Do you want to live with a scar on your stomach for the rest of your life if you even survived ? !" I shouted at him , the stitch is prepared
" I trust you Lily " he said that as he smiled
He wants to die , if only I followed my mother words I wouldn't have ended him saving this suicidal maniac
I started stitching him
" Ahhh"
" I'm sorryyyyyy"
I tried to finish up fast but still I needed to close it well
They had no numbing cream there
The wound wasn't deep
The knife got past the skin and a little bit of the flesh
No organ was harmed from what I saw
What if I learned wrong
He trusted himself to me , he shouldn't trust people easily,  if he die then it would be his fault not me
It won't be your fault lily , just do what you learned
" Ahh" He let go of my hair and was clenching his hands and digging his fingers in it
" Noo , just hold meee , I'm not ready to treat another wound please " I took his hand and made him hold my arm
I only need my hands
I was about to finish
The wound was 8 stitches
It was a big wound but a person would need to lose a lot of blood to die from it
I don't think he lost a lot of blood
I put a piece of bandage on it
Then I cover it with a bigger piece that I tie it around his body
" Get up a little lean on me "
I pulled him up and he leaned on me
While I tied the bandage around his body
I just need to put a little more force to stop the bleeding
" What's your name ?"  I asked him
" Nick Larsen " He replied
" I'm really sorry Nick "
I said that
" For wh….ahhhh" He growled in pain
From me tying the bandage with full force on the wound , he hugged me tightly
I finished
I hugged him too
" I'm really sorry if you end up dying Nick "
" I trust you"
I already hate my first patient
How can someone trust another person so recklessly
" Does it still hurt ? "
" What a bold question to ask after what you just dead to me "
" You are the one who refused to call the ambulance!!"
I pulled him away from me
" Ahhh"
" What what !!?"
" joking " he smiled
" …..Not funny "
" Nick,  by the evening,  the wound would need changing, can you go to the hospital then? "  I said that as i made him lay down in the street
" No , I told you I'm not going to any"
" Nick ! I don't care if you care about your life or not , but since I saved you then your life is mine now , and I care about my life ,so you will go see the doctor! OR I WILL PUT WHAT IS LEFT OF THE ALCOHOL BOTTLE ON YOUR WOUND! " I shouted at him
He was surprised by my loud voice
" Okay My lady " He said that and started laughing
" It hurts I can't laugh , ahh "
" Then stop already " I covered his mouth with my hand as I took look at his wound
Wait , Wow Nick's body was more amazing than his skills to annoy me
He had defined muscles and large body and broad shoulders…..how can he have a body like that at 18...wow really
"Do you like it ? " He said that in a muffled voice under my hand
" Like what!!??I'm not even looking " I stood up
" Are you going to leave your patient lying like this in the street " He asked me and smirked , how does he still have the power
I kneeled down
" Try to be helpful " I pulled him to sit up
" Ahh…"
" I'm sorry , It must hurt but you need to go home so please bear with it "
I made him wear his shirt back
" Let's get up , lean on me "
He was leaning on me
" Let's go " I was taking him to the main road , that I originally was supposed to go from
" Aren't you going to ask where I'm taking you ? " I asked him wondering why he was just leaning on me and making ne guide him so innocently
" I trust you "
.....Why does he trust me ?
We arrived at the main road
I ordered him a taxi and we were standing waiting
" Nick, can I ask you a question?"
" Yes , My lady "
" How did you get hurt ? "
" By a knife "
" I know Nick, I'm not dumb , I mean who did that and why ? "
" Why do you care ? "
" 1st I hate people who answer questions with another question 2nd I just want to tell you that we can put this person in prison , I'm sure there must be a camera that got him or even if you know him we can make the police search for any evidence,  he could be sued for murder"
" I want him outside prison "  he said that
" Why are you planning to kill him yourself?"
" Maybe " He said that 
" Don't,  I don't want a life I saved to kill another life "
" Then How should I deal with him? , my lady "
" I won't ask you to forgive him , but you can Warn him , Warn him that you would hurt something he loves if he gets near you again "
" What do people don't do these days? " I asked him wondering why isn't he answering me back , I looked at him , he looked scared
What's wrong with him , he was dying minutes ago and he didn't look that scared
" Nick, are you okay ? , does it hurt" I asked him as I tried touching him but he moved away from me and almost stumbled back
" Nick! , you are going to hurt yourself! Come lean on me " I pulled him. His whole body was technically hugging me now
" What's wrong ? " I asked him but he didn't answer me , he just leaned on me ,I rubbed his back , I was told that soothe pain sometimes
He didn't say a word even after the taxi arrived
" Please take him to his house "
" Yes miss "
" Are you going to leave? " Nick asked me as I made him enter the taxi
" Yeah , tell the taxi where your house is , don't sleep or die here okay ?" I closed the door of the taxi But I wanted to say one last thing before leaving
"Nick, Thank you for trusting me "
" Lily, you…" I didn't listen to what he have to say,  I was scared I would cringe
What I said was cringe enough
" Go please " I told the taxi and I walked away
I walked the main street this time
I don't want to meet another wounded man
I arrived home exhausted from what happened
" Hi , Mom "
" Lily , why were you late ? " Mom asked me as I sat down on the couch next to my two sisters,  daisy 26 years old , sunny 22 years old
" Well , actually mom I…."
" Continue what you were saying Daisy " Mom told Daisy
I didn't use to tell them anything anyway
I got up and went to sleep
I was too tired
I hope Nick goes to visit the hospital , I don't want to be responsible for someone's death at age of 16