So diet and exercise aren't helping? Well, that means you're more of a failure than I thought. You must still be morbidly obese. But fear not waste of space, there is a solution! With enough money, gastric bypass surgery does wonders for your surplus fat. I won't get into details of what it does, but the idea of it is food goes in, but you don't get any fatter. You actually become thinner and we all know that's what society loves. Think of what your like could be only if you weren't such a slob. You could be a handsome CEO or a gorgeous model. You could be successful, but because you have obviously have chosen to stuff your mouth with your filth of choice.
But there is a way that you can become successful with our losing weight. I've really given it some thought. The only place that will accept you if you're obese is reality television. I mean, look at the mother of that toddler Alana. She's pretty infamous, but she's doing well financially. Then again, you have to be entertaining trash to make it there. So if you're not entertaining or trash, then gastric bypass surgery is your best option.
YOU ARE READING
The ABCs of Self DiscoveryHumor
Are you miserably lost and don't know who you are? Then you've failed. Read this and stop being such a failure. Don't worry, I'm sure even with your literacy level, even you can understand this. If you're not offended by the end, I have failed. Then...