Tainted

33

~Poppy~

Amazing idea Poppy. Choose the heaviest dress in the entire world to wear on the day you want to be able to breathe. It's a million degrees, dead in the middle of summer and you're literally wearing 70 layers of fabric. I just want to get down the aisle. Pretend that I haven't been married for Bash for an entire year and start on our real life. Not the chaos the past 12 months has been.

If Bash thinks I'm planning another one of these for a renewal in 10 or 20 years' time he can think again. I am never, ever planning a wedding again. It's such a fucking hassle for something we already have. I know this is for the cameras. To act like the past 12 months, me and Bash have been dating and it's been butterflies and rainbows and not hell on earth but I really wish we could have just had a reception without the hassle. No worries about who was sat where or where did we need guards stood for it to be the safest room ion the world. Or hell. Just screw the reception all together. Just gone on as we were.

I'd suggested that to Bash a handful of times but apparently, it'd make people doubt us and it'd look like we were either hiding something or couldn't afford the huge wedding so we didn't really have a choice.

No expense had been spared today. The best cars, best venues, best musicians, best food. At the last count last week, I totalled everything at 2 million. Seemed like a crazy amount of money but when you break it down it wasn't going into a pit and we owned a lot of the businesses used so really, it was coming back into our pockets.

What I was excited for today was drawing a line in mine and Bash's relationship. Pre and post wedding. All these people would be here to watch me become Mrs Di Leo in the eyes of god and as much as god didn't matter to me, it had mattered to Bash's parents and his family that came over from Italy. They didn't see us as married even if legally speaking, we were. Today though I'd be welcomed into the family with welcome arms and I'd finally have a family that didn't want me tied down and buried under stone. Even if they did, I'd break free now. I wasn't being held back anymore. Di Leo's don't take people's shit. No matter who they are.

We walked down through the hotel corridors and a wave of unnecessary nerves hit me.

"You're fine Poppy." Nicky stood beside me in the lift. Just the 2 of us. It's been just over a year since Nicky was told to stay in the car with me the day I accepted Bash's proposal and I think it's fair to say he's become more than just a bodyguard to me. "I'm right here."

"Who said that?" I looked around quickly and Nicky chuckled.

"You're not nervous you drama queen."

"I am. No clue why. It's not like anything changes right? We've been married for a year. This is literally just for show. It doesn't really matter."

"Did you ever grow up wanting to get married?"

"God yeah. I think I lost that dream at 14 though. It was like a slap in the face that marriage was purely business."

"You and Bash aren't."

"I mean that's how it started right?" I looked up at him. "The only reason Bash married me is because everyone else saw me as property to be sold off to the highest bidder."

"Nah. Bash was obsessed with you before he even knew who you were." Nicky looked right ahead, standing tall with his hands held in front of him. "You walked out of that library and it was like a different guy. He'd have followed you if we weren't in the middle of something. Then after the mall he spent an hour with Chris working out who you were and literally wouldn't shut up about it right up until his birthday party. He hasn't stopped since."

"You're bullshitting."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"I am not doing this again." He chuckled and I let out a quick breathe. "I just want to say Poppy. Before anyone else does. That the version of you you've created for yourself in the past year. I'm proud of her."

"I haven't created anyone. She's not made up. She's just not having the shit beaten out of her every day for speaking wrong. She's had enough of it all. I've been here all along." Nicky nods, smiling that instantly disappears as the lift doors open and he escorts me down to the waiting car, opening the door for me and helping me in to sit beside my mum. "I'll see you at the church." Nicky closes the door and my mum grabs my hand. I've been with her all-night last night. Just the two of us laid in bed talking until I passed out with her holding me. She was there when I came off a call with Bash this morning. I hadn't seen him since the rehearsal dinner yesterday evening and that was far too long ago. Sleeping without him beside me will always be weird now. I'll have to remember to not break down when I see him. No tears. That makeup was too expensive.

"I'm so proud of you Poppy." My mum held onto my hand tighter. "Rowan would be too." The car pulled to a stop and I looked out the window. It's time.

"This isn't the church." The driver climbed out of the car, 2 men getting into the front seats. What the fuck is going on? I pulled on the car door but of course, it's got the child lock on and can only be opened from the outside. The windows don't go down. Why am I always getting fucking stuck like this?! THIS IS MY WEDDING DAY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!