Tainted

4

~Poppy~

5 days of reading. Sitting. Reading. Cleaning. Cooking. Scrubbing my skin. Pulling the drawers in front of my door. Talking myself out of jumping over and over again. I needed to get out of this place. Just for a few hours.

"Daddy?" He looked up from the table, set his fork down.

"Yes Poppy?" I feel like a 7-year-old child asking if she can go play with her friends in the garden. This is pathetic. My god. I slowly walked over to him, sitting down gently. He seems pretty chilled out this morning which is a surprise.

"I know went out earlier this week, to the library. But I only got coffee and the books. I didn't go shopping and now I need to get some make up and something to wear for the fancy dinner you want me to come to."

"Order it online Poppy."

"I need some more perfume too and I can never get it right online. It always smells bad. And I need some, ladies things." He scrunched his nose up. "If I go today, I can get it all at once so we don't have delivery drivers coming all week. If Lorenzo's free, he can follow me around, stand outside the shops, so you know I'm okay." He sighed. "Please daddy?"

"Fine. Put your heels on. I will have Lorenzo meet you by the front door to the centre." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him quickly. Like he was doing me a huge favour in allowing me to leave the house to get things I needed. "Have some fun Sweetheart." He put his card on the table, sliding it over to me. "You know the rules." I nodded, taking the card quickly.

"No boys, just shopping." I kissed his cheek quickly, turning and walking back out of the room.

It's not a massively long drive up to the shopping centre and it's the only time I can breathe. It's rare I get time in my car. If I'm heading out It's Cian or Enzo or dad driving me wherever I need to be. I'm never truly alone. Just here and my room. At least here I could get away if someone decided to try something. Where am I supposed to go at home?

Not like I could go anywhere here.

Lorenzo is sure enough waiting by the door for me. We have an arrangement. I don't tell my dad he spends the whole time pissing about on his phone, he keeps his distance so I can relax a little. This came about after an issue we had last year when he was occupied and I wandered off thinking he was following me, wandering straight into a fucking bank heist. I didn't tell my dad he nearly got shot as long as he made sure I could have a slight break when we went out. I mean, he couldn't really argue when my dad would kill him if he found out. I far from trusted the man but whatever. If I had to have someone following me around, better him than Cian.

I wandered in and out of stores, slowly gathering bags. If there was one way I could easily get some stupid revenge on my dad, it was spending his money. He couldn't complain about it either. Even when he got the bill through at the end of the month and comes barging into the room I'm reading in where all I say is 'but Daddy, don't you want me to look nice for my husband?' and he'll grumble and storm out.

The man needs knocking down a few pegs. Bones breaking. His skull splitting open.

Gross Pops. Too far. Too violent.

It's been at least 3 hours of intentionally buying outfits I'll probably never wear just to piss him off. I have bought things I've needed in all fairness. It's not been all unnecessary. I've yet to work out what to wear to next weekend's event because it's my first one of these things, I don't know what he expects me to wear. I'm guessing something similar to what mum wears. I'll try on a few options later and take photos so she can help me choose and I'll tell dad I wasn't sure. He'll tell me which of the photos and drive me to get it.

I tip my head at the shelves of makeup in the designer department store at the furthest end of the mall. I feel like I've walked a million miles at this point. Although I can't feel my feet after years of wearing heels, my calves are killing me. I think I'll sit for a drink after this.

Or so I thought.

The gun shots at the far end of the store put a stick in my plan. My name was screamed out and I quietly put my basket down, looking around for somewhere to hide. Nowhere. Brilliant. Luckily, I'm at the far end of the store and it's almost entirely deserted, bar the one or two old ladies now trying to do the same as me.

Here's the thing about my dad. I know who he is. He doesn't think he does but I know the money I'm spending isn't clean. I know how he makes his money isn't exactly legal. I know he comes home covered in blood, not paint. I know this damn event he's taking me to is so I can meet the other men who do what he does, to send me off to some other mafia so he can form a friendship with them and eventually have his blood at the top of 2 families. When I have a son, obviously. Because it couldn't be something a woman could handle even if she was born for it like a boy would be.

I dip around an aisle, flinching as another round is pulled off at the front of the store, screaming echoing through the room. I find a clothes rack and slowly duck down to the floor.

It takes all of 20 seconds of me hiding there before a hand pushed through and I try not to scream. The clothes are quietly pulled back on the rack, ice cold blue eyes staring back at me.

"You know when I said I didn't want to run into you when you're trying to kill yourself with a bookshelf, I didn't mean use another method pipsqueak."

"You."

"Come on."

"No."

"What? Don't you trust me?"

"Are you insane? Of course, I don't."

"Good." He smirked. Half of his lips pulling up but it's void of emotion. I'm terrified. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the clothes. "Keep quiet."