Past Trauma

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I'm loving your light, vulnerable
Letting your guard down is honorable
'Specially when the past ain't been that friendly to you, but there's magic in that

-Pretty Little Fears, 6lack ft. J Cole

• • •

Midtown AtlantaSeven's Apartment Zone 5𝑺𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑨𝒀, 𝑨𝑼𝑮𝑼𝑺𝑻 𝟔𝑻𝑯

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Midtown Atlanta
Seven's Apartment
Zone 5
𝑺𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑨𝒀, 𝑨𝑼𝑮𝑼𝑺𝑻 𝟔𝑻𝑯

Handing Seven an ibuprofen and a glass of water, Yosohn plopped down on the couch next to her. She was currently paying the price of the alcohol binge that she'd went on last night, and Yosohn had been taking care of her all morning. Embarrassed was an understatement for Seven. She'd purposely pushed her limits and made a complete fool of herself last night. Though nobody was judging her, she was still ashamed of herself.

"I hope I'm not interfering with your plans for today."

Yosohn shook his head, "I always got time for you. You need me, so I'm here."

A small smile tugged at the corners of Seven's lips as she looked up at Yosohn. He was everything that she could've ever wanted in a man. A GROWN man in every aspect. He was so good to her. Yet, she just couldn't seem to rid her mind of the nagging thought that'd been bothering her since Porscha's birthday event.

"Remember when we had that talk, and I told you that I've never been in love before?"

Yosohn nodded slowly, thinking back to the conversation that she was referring to. "Yeah I remember."

"I guess I wasn't being completely honest," she admitted, "I was in love once before. It was my first serious relationship. I was with him for two years. And during the last year of our relationship, he had a baby on me and eventually decided that he wanted to be a family with the mother of his child. Ever since then I just buried the trauma and pain that came from that situation. I completely convinced myself that I was never in love with him and that I wasn't hurt by the situation,"

"That one relationship made it extremely difficult for me to fall in love again. I dated around after that, but it was never anything serious or long term. I met Scar and winded up in a relationship with him, but I never gave him my all. I was never too crazy about him, which is why it was so easy to let him and our relationship go,"

"When our romance began, you made falling in love feel easy again. So easy to the point where I fell for you so quickly and recklessly. But when I saw you with your ex, all of that buried trauma from my past seemed to resurface. I was afraid of coming second to her. And despite your reassurances, I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe you still felt something more for her. The love that I feel for you is unlike anything that I've ever felt for any man, so I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Your love for her bothers me because I don't want it to blossom into something more. I don't want you to just wake up one day and realize that you're still in love with her and not me. I know it sounds ridiculous and a little selfish, but I don't want you to love her at all. I want you to love me and only me. I want to be your one and only."

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