Soulmates

[Seongjoong] 017

Seonghwa 

I was in the kitchen, grabbing water when I saw the light in our room was on. I had been hanging out with Yunho and San most of the night so I hadn't even been in there. 

Did he finally get home?

I fought against my better judgment, losing immediately as I went over to the door.

I pushed the door open lightly, peeking my head in and seeing Hongjoong was sitting in the desk chair, his face in his hands.

He didn't look up until I said, "Are you okay?"

His eyes met mine and then it raked down my body up and down and it made me feel incredibly self conscious, as I realized I had just been wearing a huge t-shirt I bought at a thrift store.

I couldn't exactly read his eyes but he stood, closing the space between us.

My brain fogged up as I tried to figure out what was happening and then suddenly I was being shoved against the wall, lips forcibly on mine and my hands were being trapped above my head.

I hadn't noticed just how desperate I've been because I moaned instantly at the attack, feeling heat bead through me.

I could feel him taking out all of his anger on me in the harshest way and it made my knees weak.

Fuck.

I felt his hand slip from my throat to my hip and down to the bulge in my underwear and I was sure I wasn't breathing anymore when he started to massage my cock. 

My whimpers and moans became more and more needy as I bucked my hips into his hand.

I knew we were crossing so many boundaries we dared to never cross again. That if one of us went too far that the other would always pull back but those warnings had died down as they were replaced by my own need and the sound of my moans against his lips.

I grinded into his touch, wanting whatever he'd be willing to give me at this point.

Even though I wanted to grab his face and softly kiss him as I gently ran my hands into his hair and over his body, I didn't struggle against his hold against me. I wanted this so bad- I wanted to beg him to do whatever he wanted to me at this moment.

I didn't ask for anything more. Not more pressure, not in a different way, not anything. I didn't want him to pull away but I couldn't help the pleading that came from my lips even if it was quiet.

I had longed for this for so long.

And then everything I had been given was ripped away and I felt extremely cold and empty when I realized he had pulled away.

I met his eyes and I could see the panic behind them and then it was replaced by something else.

Guilt.

I stood there, feeling my hardness still, feeling embarrassed and pathetic.

But maybe he saw the same look of guilt in my eyes because he whispered, "I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry..." 

"For what?" I choked out, still regaining myself.

"That was extremely wrong and selfish, I should've asked you- no. I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I'm sorry. We have boundaries and I crossed them." He answered.