Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

t w e n t y - n i n e

" You can't follow your heart when it is more confused than your head."

I've never felt so fucking vulnerable in my entire life. Not once had anyone had this much control over me, and I fucking hated it.

This warmth in my chest was something so foreign that I was a little skeptical as to if it was normal at first. Love. Damn the word that meant such little to me before Harry. I was so sure, so fucking sure that there was no such thing. That it was all make believe and that no matter what you did, it would never last.

The thought of love, and actually being in love are two completely different things once you are able to experience both. Nothing feels wrong when you're in love. Everything is nothing but optimism, and happiness. It's pure, and enlightening. It's what most people spend their whole life's trying to find. And after admitting to myself that I was indeed in love, I realized how essential it was.

Before it all though, the only view of love I had ever been able to witness was one that fell apart without so much as a goodbye. It was selfish, it was greedy. It wasn't love, but I can't get that preconception out of my head. It's like someone saying that everything you have ever learned was all wrong, and that there was a whole entirely different way to it.

Nonetheless, my brain was at war with my heart. The two obviously not on the same page with where I wanted to be, and it inly left me more confused than anything.

The bell ringing brought me out of my daze as I stared at the end of my pencil, tapping the end on the edge of my notebook. Everyone shuffled out of class, and headed to the hall to get to their next class. Being in the last of the crowd, I make it into the hallway and to my locker. Not that I ever really use it as it is more a distraction- a normality.

My fingers aimlessly turn the dial and unlock my locker as people walk past me with haste, and honestly only pisses me off. What can I say, I hate most people.

My mind drifting off into thought, and just pure daze. That is until someone places the body onto the locker next to mine. I start to feel giddy as I expect it to be Harry. Just imagining his curly locks placed upon his head, and his boyish grin aimed at me.

I am soon disappointed though as I turn to find Brett. His black hair now gelled, and resembled that of a tar pit. The smile on my face quickly disappeared before I moved my gaze back to my locker, occupying myself. Anything to distract from a conversation with him.

"Awe, is little Stellz ignoring me now?" He cooed in such a way that I immediately wanted to vomit. He was literal scum.

"What the fuck do you want Brett?" I asked annoyed, and frustrated. I wanted nothing more than for him to leave me alone. And I certainly didn't want Harry to pass by, and witness any part of this conversation.

"I saw you at prom, babe. Instant hard-on just from looking at you." I shook my head at his comment. I would normally feel such gratification from comments like those, but coming from someone, anyone, other than Harry was instantly sickening. His arm now placed across the opening of my locker, stopping me from ignoring him further. "I didn't get a chance to shag your brains out though, you were quite occupied with fucking saint Styles all night."

I instantly grew defensive of Harry, especially when someone who resembled that of human garbage as much as Brett did. "Shut the fuck up Brett, and leave me the fuck alone." I spat, turning in his direction. The scowl on my face was so deep, I could feel the wrinkles forming.

His face turned to that of an evil smirk, his hand harshly gripping my upper bicep. I softly hissed in pain as his pulled me closer to him before speaking. "Seems you're quite fond of this little boy-toy of yours hm? I suppose him and I could exchange some notes on how killer you are in bed. I'm sure he would love to hear about how I would fuck you no more than six months ago. Or how not even a month ago you blew me in the girl's bathroom right over there." He nodded toward the bathroom behind him. "I can just tell from the fucking look on your face that you don't want that to happen, now do you Stella?"