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III

Why did she believe Meredith when she said she was fine? Would a person who's fine do this? Would they let themselves be underwater until they couldn't breathe? How could she let her help the ferry crash victims? Let her go to a place surrounded by water? Why couldn't she stay in the hospital instead of Cristina?

Addison's vision suddenly becomes blurry, and she feels wetness on her cheeks. She wipes the tears away with her sleeve, focusing back on the cleaning.

When she's done, she washes the inside one more time before returning the bucket to its proper place in the bathroom.

Addison turns around to go sit down on a couch and wait until Cristina returns, but she sees her standing at the bathroom doors with her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes are dark and narrowed but simultaneously full of sadness.

"You were right," she says. "I shouldn't have come inside."

"What happened?"

"She didn't look at me. She didn't talk to me. I talked at her, and it was like talking to a brick wall." Cristina's voice is unusually vulnerable, making Addison uncomfortable.

Addison opens her mouth to apologize, but Cristina strides toward her before she has the chance, pushing a finger into Addison's chest.

"She looks terrible," she says, her voice low and angry. "She's just skin and bones. How could you let that happen? I thought you had a plan when you convinced the Chief to let her go home."

Every word that leaves Cristina's mouth feels like a slap in Addison's face.

"I'm doing everything I can to help her," Addison says weakly, looking away from Cristina's angry stare.

Cristina scoffs. "I'm not a patient's family member. Stop with this crap and tell me – will she be okay?"

"I don't know," Addison confesses, her heart breaking. She finally confirmed it to herself. She doesn't know.

Cristina lets out a deep sigh and steps away, staring her down. "If she won't, I promise, Montgomery, I will make your life a living hell."

Then, she walks away, leaving Addison standing alone in the bathroom. A few moments later, Addison hears the front door slamming shut, the sound echoing throughout the almost empty house.

She sighs, suddenly feeling incredibly tired.

"It already is."

-----------------------------

Meredith is always cold.

From the moment she starts sleeping at the house, she's buried under a duvet and at least five other thick blankets. Addison dreads the times she has to take her out of her room because she won't stop shivering. Addison tried to turn the thermostat up to 77 degrees in the whole house, but Izzie and Alex started whining about it after two days, saying they couldn't sleep. They had many arguments about it, but in the end, the temperature in the house returned to 68.

Addison has bought so many blankets that she's surprised the cashiers don't recognize her yet. She tries to buy purple ones since it's Meredith's favorite color, but she finds out it isn't as simple as it sounds. Once, she found this perfect dark purple blanket with white stars on it, but just as she wanted to put it into the shopping cart, she got paged and had to leave it on the shelf. To make matters worse, the next day, when she returned to the shop determined to buy it, it was no longer there.

The others noticed her new hobby of buying blankets and decided to help her out because suddenly there were new ones in the attending's lounge every day – dark green from Izzie (crocheted), baby blue from George, dark brown from Alex, indigo from Derek, black from Cristina, orange from Bailey, yellow from Callie and Arizona, and light pink from Mark.

Addison notices Meredith likes the baby blue, indigo, black, and orange blankets the most. And to Addison's surprise, she seems to hate the green one – whenever Addison moves to put it on her pile, she starts trashing around, trying to throw it off. She wonders why, but she knows she won't get an answer from the blonde, no matter how many times she'll ask.

One day, Addison is once again walking through the aisle of the shop where she saw the purple starry blanket before when she looks at the shelve, thinking it won't be there and she will have to accept defeat. But the universe seems to finally be on her side because the blanket is there, lying on the shelve as if it was waiting just for her. Addison quickly grabs it before someone else can and runs to the cashier, forgetting what she was initially looking for. The cashier gives her a funny look, so her presumption that they remember her seems more plausible than she thought.

Addison's smiling on the drive home was something she thought was impossible. Her heart is full of pride and happiness as she thinks about how Meredith will surely love the blanket as much as she does.

It may be the thing that finally makes her talk.

She wastes no time when she gets home, immediately going up the stairs and into the bedroom. Meredith is lying under her pile of blankets (this time baby blue, pink, indigo, and orange), and her eyes are closed.

Addison gets closer to the bed and reaches out her hand to wake her up, but Meredith's blue eyes open before she can touch her. But she's not looking at her; her gaze is fixed on the ceiling. Addison tries not to get too offended by that. She thought she was already used to it, but it made her heart ache every time.

"I bought you another blanket," Addison says with a smile, waving it around. "It's purple."

Meredith's expression doesn't change.

Frowning, Addison puts the blanket at the top of the pile, gently tucking it in.

"Come on, don't I deserve a 'thank you' at least?" She says it with a small smile, but deep inside, she wants to scream it at her until she responds.

Meredith doesn't react, but her lips turn the slightest bit upward. Addison gasps but immediately thinks she must have imagined it. She shakes her head and caresses Meredith's cheek, sighing. "Look at me, Meredith. Please."

Meredith blinks but doesn't move her gaze from the ceiling. Addison sits down on a rocking chair next to the bed and gently squeezes Meredith's hand, trying not to cry when she feels how skinny her fingers are.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. I promise."